October 2020 - Monthly Archive

31 Oct

Quotes

Susan Davis

926

Quote #1957

"God, I lift up to You the areas of my life that are overwhelming and burdensome. I've not come to You to complain, but rather to seek Your help. Where I've tried to handle everything in my own stre read more..

31 Oct

One-liners

Susan Davis

805

One-Liner #1519

Wake up, it's time for your sleeping pill.... read more..

31 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3549

New Discovery

The scene: Alexander Graham Bell's laboratory. An exciting new discovery is about to take place. Mr. Bell and his assistant, a man named Watson, have been hard at work on Bell's new invention to tran... read more..

31 Oct

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2086

Someone to Watch Over Me

By Saralee Perel Gracie, my beautiful 13-year-old shepherd/collie mix, has found her purpose. Six years ago, when I came home from a Boston hospital after my spinal cord injury, I was wearing a huge... read more..

29 Oct

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

577

Cybersalt News - October 29, 2020

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! Thank you to Ruth C. who let me know that in Sunday's mailing the Rev. James Snyder item was missing, with the Cybersalt News appearing a second time in its place... read more..

28 Oct

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3193

Helpful Hints

1. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables get someone else to hold them while you chop away. 2. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a w read more..

28 Oct

Quotes

Susan Davis

796

Quote #1956

"Never let your common sense become so prominent and forceful that it pushes the Son of God to one side." - Oswald Chambers read more..

28 Oct

One-liners

Susan Davis

705

One-Liner #1518

Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?... read more..

28 Oct

Clean Puns

Susan Davis

789

Buying Time

Clocks are supposed to go back Sunday, but the store I bought ours from has a "no return" policy!... read more..

28 Oct

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1800

Transformation

A woman was asked by a co-worker, "What is it like to be a Christian?" The woman replied, "It is like being a pumpkin. God picks you from the patch, brings you in, and washes all the dirt off of you.... read more..

28 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

12711

Hiccups Cure

A man entered a drug store and asked to see the pharmacist. When the pharmacist came out, the man asked if he could give him a cure for the hiccups. The pharmacist immediately reached out and slappe... read more..

26 Oct

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

986

Junk Is a Matter of Personal Definition

I thought I had everything organized and in order. It just shows how useless my thinking is these days. There are many piles in my office and on my desk, and I know what is in each pile. Everything i... read more..

25 Oct

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

598

Cybersalt News - October 25, 2020

Sunday greetings everyone! The link to last week's video share was not totally obvious, so if you missed taking a flyby of Jupiter you can take it by clicking here. This week's video share is a blas... read more..

24 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4699

Hymns for Professionals

DENTIST: Crown Him with many crowns CONTRACTORS: The church's one foundation OBSTETRICIANS: Come, labour on GOLFERS: There is a green hill far away POLITICIANS: Standing on the promises LIBRARI read more..

24 Oct

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1731

Friendly Competition

A group of friends who prided themselves on their intelligence set out to have a contest of wits. Each person in turn asked a question, and anyone who volunteered an answer that was wrong dropped out.... read more..

24 Oct

Quotes

Susan Davis

811

Quote #1955

"A man who is born again is careful of his own soul. He tries not only to avoid sin - but also to avoid everything which may lead to it. He is careful about the company he keeps. He know that read more..

24 Oct

One-liners

Susan Davis

672

One-Liner #1517

All our emergencies are normal.... read more..

24 Oct

Clean Puns

Susan Davis

923

Gourd Math

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter? Pumpkin π... read more..

24 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4224

Choruses vs Hymns

A young, new Christian went to his local small town church one weekend. He came home and his wife asked him how it was. "Well," said the young man, "It was good. They did something differ... read more..

22 Oct

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

644

Cybersalt News - October 22, 2020

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! I have been blessed to be working with a business coach in recent weeks. I wasn't really looking for one, and had anyone asked if I needed to talk to one I might not have a... read more..

21 Oct

Quotes

Susan Davis

761

Quote #1954

"You may think you can live fine without Christ, but you cannot afford to die without Him." - C. H. Spurgeon read more..

21 Oct

One-liners

Susan Davis

768

One-Liner #1516

I have become more optimistic and now believe that things could get worse.... read more..

21 Oct

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

2600

What's Kosher

A mom was carpooling her Sarah and friend Melanie to Hebrew School one day when she caught wind of the conversation between the two six-year-olds in the back seat... Melanie, "Our family is kosher" ... read more..

21 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4069

Called In Sick

Negotiations between union members and their employer were at an impasse. The union denied that their workers were flagrantly abusing their contract's sick-leave provisions. One morning at the bargai... read more..

21 Oct

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2229

Igniting Communication

Matchmakers like to strike up a light conversation.... read more..

21 Oct

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2081

Pastoring

Years ago, when our daughters were very young, we'd drop them off at our church's children's chapel on Sundays before the eleven o'clock service. One Sunday, just as I was about to open the door to th... read more..

21 Oct

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2248

Riches

There once was a rich man who was near death. He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money and he wanted to be able to take it with him to heaven. So he began to pray that he might ... read more..

19 Oct

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

920

And Then It Was Silent No More

During this time of exclusive lockdown, I and the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage have grown accustomed to silence. Don't get me wrong here. I do not object to noise as long as it's the right kind... read more..

18 Oct

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

610

Cybersalt News - October 18, 2020

Sunday greetings everyone! Thank you to Brian P. who alerted me to the source of the final item in last Chicken Thursday's "Homilies to Live By." It is originally from the 'Hitch-hiker's Guide to the... read more..

17 Oct

Quotes

Susan Davis

852

Quote #1953

"On a good day, enjoy yourself; on a bad day, examine your conscience. God arranges for both kinds of days so that we won't take anything for granted." - Solomon read more..