December 2020 - Monthly Archive

17 Dec

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

530

Cybersalt News - December 17, 2020

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! I made another person this week. That's right, I incorporated Cybersalt. But don't worry, my plan is not to go all serious and boring here in the Cybersalt Digest or Pearly... read more..

16 Dec

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

2563

Practical Tricks to Play on Santa

1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds. 2. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding tic read more..

16 Dec

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2992

Good Christmas Intentions

A kindly 90-year-old grandmother found buying presents for family and friends a bit much last Christmas. So she wrote out checks for all of them to put in their Christmas cards. In each card she care... read more..

16 Dec

Quotes

Susan Davis

863

Quote #1969

'Christmas is most truly Christmas when we celebrate it by giving the light of love to those who need it most." - Ruth Carter Stapleton read more..

16 Dec

One-liners

Susan Davis

716

One-Liner #1531

Here I am - now what are your other two wishes?... read more..

16 Dec

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2189

Gift Highding

Santa stores all the presents in the pole vault.... read more..

16 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3365

Fruit Cake Top Ten

Sincere apologies to all of you who truly enjoy fruitcake. Unfortunately, it has a reputation and too easily becomes material for jokes like this one... 10. Use slices to balance that wobbly kitchen ... read more..

15 Dec

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

780

It’s All Over But The Lying

The one thing I don't like is when somebody deliberately lies to me.Trust me; this has happened quite a few times in my life. Sometimes, by accident, they say something that isn't true; they just... read more..

13 Dec

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

567

Cybersalt News - December 13, 2020

Sunday greetings everyone! Grandma Cybersalt and I received some Covid Christmas cheer in the mail the other day from my sister. She is a very talented seamstress, in fact I still wear shirts she mad... read more..

13 Dec

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

1058

Christmas Is More Than Jingle, Jingle

I have been trying lately to remember my first Christmas. I know my memory isn't perfect, but I thought maybe I could bring up some old memories of my first Christmas. Unfortunately, I couldn't think... read more..

12 Dec

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

2997

Second Time?

A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of the daughter's very swollen abdomen. It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say, "Gimme... read more..

12 Dec

Quotes

Susan Davis

858

Quote #1968

"Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love." - Hamilton Wright Mabi read more..

12 Dec

One-liners

Susan Davis

1203

One-Liner #1530

The first Christmas was pretty simple ... it's okay if yours is too.... read more..

12 Dec

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2045

Christmas Signs

Here are some signs seen around Christmas time. Toy Store: "Ho, ho, ho spoken here." Outside a church: "The original Christmas Club." At a department store: "Big pre-Christmas sale. Come in and man... read more..

12 Dec

Christmas Jokes

Pastor Tim

4604

X-Files Christmas

57 Elm Street Bethlehem, Pa.11:51 p.m., December 24th. "We're too late! It's already been here." "Mulder, I hope you know what you're doing." "Look, Scully, just like the other homes: Douglas... read more..

12 Dec

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2247

Streetcret Ingredient

The weatherman describes this as unseasonable weather. Of course its unseasoned -- that's why the city maintenance crew put salt on it.... read more..

A Politically Correct, Legally Safe, ACLU Holiday Greeting

10 Dec

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

4257

A Politically Correct, Legally Safe, ACLU Holiday Greeting

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the winter solst... read more..

10 Dec

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

531

Cybersalt News - December 10, 2020

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! Last week I invited you to share other possible life challenges of being a hermaphroditic snail (to catch up on this saga you will have to read some previous Cybersalt News... read more..

09 Dec

Quotes

Susan Davis

753

Quote #1967

"Nothing is inferior for being old, and nothing is valuable for being modern." - John Piper read more..

09 Dec

One-liners

Susan Davis

742

One-Liner #1529

The time has come to rise above principles!... read more..

09 Dec

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2564

Grammar Pants

Trousers: An unusual word. Singular at the top; plural at the bottom.... read more..

09 Dec

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1719

Easier Life

If Only Life Were More Like a Computer Think of it. . . If you messed up a relationship, you could just press "CTRL, ALT, DELETE" and start all over! To get your daily exercise, you'd simply click ... read more..

09 Dec

Christmas Jokes

Pastor Tim

3634

London, England Christmas

Here we have the London, England version of the poem written by Aussie born Londoner Kim Van Wyck and forwarded to me by Terry Blakenship. Twas the night before Christmas, In England, you know,the pl... read more..

06 Dec

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

557

Cybersalt News - December 6, 2020

Sunday greetings everyone - especially you PearlyGates subscribers! I have a bumper crop of Christmas items for the PearlyGates list so this month I'm sending it out twice a week as well. Thanks... read more..

05 Dec

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

2911

Wisemen Top Seven

The Top Seven things overhead on the Wise Men's Journey to Bethlehem: 7 Man, I'm starting to get a rush from this frankincense! 6 You guys ever eat camel meat? I hear it tastes like goat. 5... read more..

05 Dec

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

2857

Bubba Claus

Memo From Santa I regret to inform you that, effective immediately, I will no longer serve the States of Georgia, Florida, Virginia, North and South Carolina, Tennessee, Mississippi, Texas, Alabama, ... read more..

05 Dec

Quotes

Susan Davis

731

Quote #1966

"When we come across suffering in which there is no deliverance and no illumination, the only thing to do is to be reverent with what we do not understand." - Oswald Chambers, Baffled to Figh read more..

05 Dec

One-liners

Susan Davis

666

One-Liner #1528

Let us do for a second time what we refused to do at first; this will avoid setting a precedent.... read more..

05 Dec

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2324

Maintenance Reminder

A friend of mine bought a new car that sported an on-board computer. One Sunday morning when he got into the car to drive to church, the digital display lit up. Glancing at the readout, he chuckled ... read more..

05 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3284

When One Shows Up

A preacher prepared for Sunday morning service, but only one person, a farmer, was there. He asked the farmer, "What do you think we should do?" The farmer replied with a draw, "Well, if only one cow... read more..