2020 - Monthly Archive - Results from #180

26 Sep

Quotes

Susan Davis

743

Quote #1948

"If you want everyone to like you, don't be a pastor. Go sell ice-cream." - Dr. E. I. Stetzer read more..

26 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3059

Corporal Conroy needed to use a pay phone, but didn't have change for a dollar. He saw Private Duncan mopping the base's corridor floors, and asked him, "Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?" Pr... read more..

26 Sep

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2278

Post Majority

A letter carrier's career is a mail-dominated profession.... read more..

26 Sep

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1751

Potty Training, Parenting, Embarassment

My three year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training, and I was on him constantly about it. One day, we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch between errands. It was very busy, with a ful... read more..

26 Sep

One-liners

Susan Davis

734

One-Liner #1510

Self-annihilating Command Men, women, and children first.... read more..

24 Sep

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

593

Cybersalt News - September 24, 2020

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! Welcome to autumn in the Northern Hemisphere and spring in the Southern. I am sure you "Southerners" are excited to get back outdoors after a long winter inside. Here at C... read more..

23 Sep

Quotes

Susan Davis

786

Quote #1947

"Whatever your heart clings to and confides in, that is really your god." - Martin Luther read more..

23 Sep

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

2874

Children

Advice for the day: If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle:"Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children." You spend the first 2 years of their read more..

23 Sep

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

2961

Hockey Injury

Andy came to work one day, limping something awful. One of his co-workers, Josh, noticed and asked Andy what happened. Andy replied, "Oh, nothing. It's just an old hockey injury that acts up once in ... read more..

23 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

8879

Get Well Soon

A motorcycle cop was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appendix. The doctors operated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on hi... read more..

23 Sep

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2251

Vegetable Warning

Notice! Take lettuce from top of stack, or heads will roll!... read more..

23 Sep

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1835

Complaints

"Well, I reckon you've been a pretty good horse," said the farmer. "You work hard and I ain't had to call the vet on you much. I only wish you pulled the plow a little faster." "NO!" said the horse, read more..

23 Sep

One-liners

Susan Davis

734

One-Liner #1509

Self-annihilating Command Authorized parking is forbidden!... read more..

'Pastor, Pastor ...' What Do Adults Really Do?

20 Sep

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

4617

'Pastor, Pastor ...' What Do Adults Really Do?

I love children. I love being around them and watching them play. Each Sunday, following morning worship service, I delight in handing out little bags of jellybeans to all the children. Just between ... read more..

20 Sep

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

839

Getting Away With It Is Half the Fun

I must admit I don't get away with very much, and I never have. It's not that I never try. It's just that whenever I try to get away with something, it always backfires. I wish there were a class som... read more..

20 Sep

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

711

Cybersalt News - September 20, 2020

Sunday greetings everyone! Today's video share is an example of how the perspective from which you look at something can really change your . . . . . . perspective on it. Above water, Flamingos are ... read more..

19 Sep

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

608

Legalism

The Game Warden stopped a deer hunter and asked to see his hunting license. "This is last year's license," the warden informed him. "I know," said the hunter, "but I shouldn't need a new license. I ... read more..

19 Sep

Quotes

Susan Davis

781

Quote #1946

"Art is one thing that can go on mattering once it has stopped hurting." - Elizabeth Bowen read more..

19 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

7912

Lost Ticket

Albert Einstein was also recognized as the original absent-minded professor. One day, on board a train, he was unable to find his ticket. The conductor said, "Take it easy. You'll find it." When the ... read more..

19 Sep

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2101

Midday to You

I had just moved to an address between Sunrise Ave. and Sunset Blvd., one of Sacramento's major streets, and was explaining to a clerk where my home was located for billing purposes. "I live between ... read more..

19 Sep

One-liners

Susan Davis

679

One-Liner #1508

Self-annihilating Command Ignore this sign!... read more..

17 Sep

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

619

Cybersalt News - September 17, 2020

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! Today, for the first time in over 6 months, I had a business lunch with one of my clients. We met up at the local Denny's. Arriving at the parking lot, I put my mask on to ... read more..

16 Sep

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

2828

Make a Wish

Visiting St Patrick's Cathedral on a tour of New York City, my daughter and her children were awed by the sight. The kids were especially curious about the votive candles, so my daughter asked if the... read more..

16 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4066

Catfish Fishing

Jim had an awful day fishing, sitting on the lake all day without a single bite. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, "Pick out the four... read more..

16 Sep

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

5133

Patent Pun

The road to the patent office is paved with good inventions.... read more..

16 Sep

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1981

Life Purpose

Two caterpillars are sitting on a leaf when a butterfly zooms by, startling them. One turns to the other and says, "Boy, you'll never get me up in one of those things."... read more..

16 Sep

One-liners

Susan Davis

844

One-Liner #1507

If everything goes perfectly, something's wrong.... read more..

13 Sep

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

1087

A Musical Concert or Aggravating Noise?

To say the least, and I usually do, this summer has been quite a journey for the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and myself. I can't remember a summer equal to the one we just went through. The fac... read more..

13 Sep

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

592

Cybersalt News - September 13, 2020

Sunday greetings everyone! After the recent interruption in mailings, today marks the return of Rev. James Snyder's ongoing column. Usually I included a link to his latest articles on the Cybersalt s... read more..

12 Sep

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3408

Proposal Reaction

A young man confided to his mother that he had proposed to his girlfriend and they were going to get married. "Whatsa dis?" screamed his Mother. "Who's a-gonna love you like a Momma? Who's a gonna st... read more..