2020 - Monthly Archive - Results from #270

05 Aug

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2439

Two Thousand Years of History

Outside a small Macedonian village a lone Catholic nun keeps a quiet watch over a silent convent. She is the last caretaker of this site of significant historical developments, spanning more than 2,00... read more..

05 Aug

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1765

Suspicion

One of my students could not take my college seminar final exam because of a funeral. "No problem," I told him. "Make it up the following week." That week came, and again he couldn't take the test du... read more..

05 Aug

One-liners

Susan Davis

771

One-Liner #1498

Commercials in 2030: Were you or someone you know overly exposed to hand sanitizer, Lysol or bleach during the 2020 Corona virus pandemic? You may be eligible for compensation!... read more..

If I Had a Nickel for Every Blunder I Made

02 Aug

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

1158

If I Had a Nickel for Every Blunder I Made

I am not very agile when it comes to finances. Do not get me wrong, I know how to spend money; it is just that I do not know how to save money. Somewhere I lost my little piggy bank. One of my father... read more..

02 Aug

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

597

Cybersalt News - August 2, 2020

Sunday greetings everyone! I am grateful to tell you that the family of the overseas pastor I mentioned last week is recovering from COVID. In the end his wife and all three or their children caught ... read more..

01 Aug

Quotes

Susan Davis

906

Quote #1935

"The seven capital sins are: policies without principles, wealth without work, pleasure without awareness, knowledge without character, business without morality, science without humanity, wor read more..

01 Aug

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4305

Sister Cheer Up

My sister and I are close, and that allows us to be honest with each other. One evening as I prepared for a date, I remarked, "I'm fat." "No, you're not," she scolded. "My hair is awful," I said. "... read more..

01 Aug

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2990

Feeling Dessert

“It was an emotional wedding; even the cake was in tiers.”... read more..

01 Aug

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1791

Head Knowledge

On the Upper West Side of NYC lived an assimilated Jewish man who was now a very militant atheist. But he sent his son Morris to Trinity School because, despite its denominational roots, it's a great ... read more..

01 Aug

One-liners

Susan Davis

914

One-Liner #1497

So let me get this straight, there's no cure for a virus that can be KILLED by sanitizer and hand soap?... read more..

30 Jul

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

618

Cybersalt News - July 30, 2020

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! Lacking any exciting personal news to share today, I thought I'd do a Google search for "Chicken News" to see if there was an interesting link to share and wouldn't you kno... read more..

29 Jul

Quotes

Susan Davis

897

Quote #1934

"In the early stages of our Christian life, we do not watch with Jesus, we watch for Him." - Oswald Chambers read more..

29 Jul

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

5407

Shirt Help

While I was working in the men's section of a department store, a woman asked me to help her choose a white dress shirt for her husband. When I asked about his size, the woman looked stumped at first... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3091

Understanding Art

Liz goes to her first show at an art gallery and is looking at the paintings. One is a huge canvas that has black with yellow blobs of paint splattered all over it. The next painting is a murky gray c... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2649

Sixty-Five at Least

A policeman stops a speeding car and tells the woman driver; "When I saw you driving down the road, I thought to myself, 'sixty-five at least.'" The woman replied: "I don't think that is quite fair. ... read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1768

Learning Through Play

Our Lamaze class included a tour of the pediatric wing of the hospital. When a new baby was brought into the nursery, all the women tried to guess its weight, but the guy standing next to me was the o... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Susan Davis

880

One-Liner #1496

I'm gonna work on being less condescending. (Condescending means to talk down to people.)... read more..

26 Jul

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

807

It’s Not Always What It Seems

There are times when my bad hearing is a blessing. I'm not sure if I'm not listening or not hearing. It’s hard for me to tell. For example, the other night, right after midnight, the Gracious Mistres... read more..

26 Jul

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

658

Cybersalt News - July 26, 2020

Sunday greetings everyone! One of the pastors that Cybersalt works with overseas emailed the other day, letting me know his wife and their youngest of 3 children have the flu. While he did not say it... read more..

25 Jul

Quotes

Susan Davis

880

Quote #1933

"When obedience to God contradicts what I think will give me pleasure, let me ask myself if I love Him." - Elisabeth Elliot read more..

25 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3419

Needled

At a naval barracks the enlisted men were being given their shots prior to going overseas. One lad, having received his whole series of injections, asked for a glass of water. "What's the matter, Mat... read more..

25 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2630

Two Hundred Cows

"I have 200 cows." "Yesterday, you said you had 199 cows." "That was before I rounded them up." - Richard Lederer and James Ertner read more..

25 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1899

Church Health

A new Pastor in a small Oklahoma town spent the first four days making personal visits to each of the members, inviting them to come to his first services. The following Sabbath the church was all bu... read more..

25 Jul

One-liners

Susan Davis

831

One-Liner #1495

Common sense is not a gift, it's a punishment because you have to deal with everyone who doesn't have it.... read more..

23 Jul

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

566

Cybersalt News - July 23, 2020

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! Thanks to Cybersaltine Mike A. for today's chicken picture. Mike said that this chicken was outside his local food store in Miami, making it one brave chicken in my books.... read more..

22 Jul

One-liners

Susan Davis

810

One-Liner #1494

Five symptoms of laziness: 1.... read more..

22 Jul

Quotes

Susan Davis

1326

Quote #1932

"If you ask, 'Why is this happening?' no light will come, but if you ask, 'How am I to glorify God now?' there will always be an answer." - J. I. Packer read more..

22 Jul

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3968

Ministry Salaries

A Sunday School teacher was trying to explain about saying grace before meals. One of the pupils was the young son of the minister of that church, so she started the discussion by asking him, "... read more..

22 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5599

Favorite Flower

While attending a marriage seminar on communication, Tom and his wife Peg listened to the instructor declare, "It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.... read more..

22 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4837

Tourism

I am a mental tourist. My mind wanders.... read more..