2020 - Monthly Archive - Results from #570

11 Mar

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1498

Golf Attendance

The little church in the suburbs suddenly stopped buying from its regular office supply dealer. So, the dealer telephoned Deacon Brown to ask why. "I'll tell you why," said Deacon Brown. "Our church ... read more..

11 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3177

Odd News Reports

*"The license fee for altered dogs with a certificate will be $3 and for pets owned by senior citizens who have not been altered the fee will be $1.50." *"Dr. Benjamin Porter visited the school yeste read more..

08 Mar

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

622

Cybersalt News - March 8, 2020

Sunday Greetings everyone! I have some exciting Cybersalt News for you! As you know Cybersalt is helping refugees and persecuted Christians through the Be a Billionaire Fundraiser and a number ... read more..

07 Mar

One-liners

Susan Davis

1181

One-liner #1455

Chaos, panic and disorder ... my work here is done.... read more..

07 Mar

Clean Puns

Susan Davis

1241

Instagroan

I have a friend who tried to take a selfie in the shower, but the image was too blurry. He has selfie steam issues.... read more..

07 Mar

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1533

Self-Righteousness Committee

Apologies to all for this obnoxious illustration. If you can stick it out to the end, you will be vindicated. Praise God, everyone! Welcome to our annual membership re-commitment committee. Think of ... read more..

07 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

7505

Roman Numerals

One of my college friends asked a group of us for advice on organizing his final report for the year. "Why don't you use Roman numerals to head the different sections?" one of them suggested. "I tho... read more..

07 Mar

Quotes

Susan Davis

1415

Quote #1893

No one is going to stand up at your funeral and say, "She had a really expensive couch and great shoes." Don't make life about stuff. - unknown read more..

05 Mar

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

605

Cybersalt News - March 5, 2020

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! Thanks to Ruth B. who sent in today's chicken picture. Apparently they're pretty friendly in Kuai, Hawaii! You may have noticed there was no mailing on Sunday. I worked ve... read more..

04 Mar

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3127

Smuggling Stumper

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He has two large bags over his shoulders. The guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?" "Sand," answered Juan. The guard says, "We'll just s... read more..

04 Mar

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1440

Clear Customer Communication

Torrential rainstorms were knocking down power lines all over town. That meant, as a customer service rep for the electric company, I was dispatching repairmen right and left. When one lineman called... read more..

04 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3102

Bigger Piece

One night at the dinner table, the wife commented, "When we were first married, you took the small piece of steak and gave me the larger. Now you take the large one and leave me the smaller; you don't... read more..

01 Mar

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

967

Have Nose, Will Sneeze

Many things about me could be called into question, and a lot has. I get that. However, the most attractive thing about me is my nose. I am not sure of the reason why, it looks like anybody else’s nos... read more..

29 Feb

One-liners

Susan Davis

369

One-liner #1454

Nice perfume; must you marinate in it??... read more..

29 Feb

Quotes

Susan Davis

1422

Quote #1892

"Don't ask kids what they want to be when they grow up but what problems do they want to solve. This changes the conversation from who do I want to work for, to what do I need to learn to be able to read more..

29 Feb

Clean Puns

Susan Davis

1219

Pet Names

My goldfish are named Major, Minor, Dorian, Lydian and Diminished. The only way I can tell them apart is by their scales.... read more..

27 Feb

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3150

Troubled Father

A Jewish father was troubled by the way his son turned out, and went to see his Rabbi about it. "I brought him up in the faith, gave him a very expensive bar mitzvah, cost me a fortune to educate him... read more..

27 Feb

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1599

Generation Ford

"When my husband, Mark, took his beat-up pickup truck to our insurance agent for a pre-insurance inspection, the teen-age receptionist was sent to look over the truck. Armed with a checklist and a few read more..

27 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3482

White Hairs

One day, a little girl is sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly notices that her mother has several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast to her brun... read more..

27 Feb

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

638

Cybersalt News - February 27, 2020

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! Thank you to H. McCarthy who sent in today's chicken picture. Also, thanks to subscriber "SmackTavish" for letting me know that last Sunday's "Security" illustration shoul... read more..

26 Feb

One-liners

Susan Davis

1017

One-liner #1453

If I want to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cat.... read more..

26 Feb

Quotes

Susan Davis

1470

Quote #1891

"Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always." - Brad Meltzer read more..

26 Feb

Clean Puns

Susan Davis

1115

Petrolfied

Who can drink 2 litres of gasoline? Jerry can!... read more..

23 Feb

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1249

Security

A friend who lives in NYC has six locks on his door; all in a row. When he goes out, he only locks every other one. That way, no matter how long somebody tries to pick the locks, they are always lock... read more..

10 Ways You Know Your Internet Connection Is A Little Slow

23 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

1533

10 Ways You Know Your Internet Connection Is A Little Slow

1. Text on Web pages displays as Morse Code. 2. Graphics arrive via FedEx. 3. You believe a heavier string might improve your connection. 4. You post a message to your favorite newsgroup and it dis read more..

23 Feb

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

626

Cybersalt News - February 23, 2020

Sunday Greetings everyone! Rev. James Snyder has been having having more fun with telemarketers and his cell phone. You can read "Did I Just Call Myself?" at:www.cybersalt.org/gods-penman/did-i-... read more..

22 Feb

One-liners

Susan Davis

1148

One-liner #1452

Suburbia: Where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them.... read more..

22 Feb

Quotes

Susan Davis

916

Quote #1890

"Raise your words, not your voice. It is rain that grows flowers, not thunder." - Rumi read more..

22 Feb

Clean Puns

Susan Davis

1025

Label Truth

That "best by" date stamp is really just a spoiler alert.... read more..

20 Feb

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

629

Cybersalt News - February 20, 2020

Oh look, Chicken Thursday - 02-20-2020! Thanks to Forrest G. for today's chicken picture which came at a very good time! The last couple of days have been a little glum for me here at Cybersalt Worl... read more..