March 2021 - Monthly Archive

31 Mar

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

8024

Offertory Prayer

A visiting minister was eloquent during the offertory prayer. "Dear Lord," he began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you we are but dust. . ... read more..

31 Mar

Quotes

Susan Davis

768

Quote #1997

"The art of language requires skills in not speaking quite as much as skills in speaking." - Eugene Peterson read more..

31 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3373

Fuel Trudge

After finishing an out-of-town errand, I discovered that my car wouldn't start because it was out of gas. A passerby told me there was a service station a half-mile away, so I took a gas can from the ... read more..

31 Mar

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2421

Basement Dreams

The author considered his wine collection a best cellar.... read more..

31 Mar

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1829

Parental Nagging

Constant nagging didn't seem to provide any relief from having to clean up the bathroom after each of my three teenage children. After I cleaned it one day, I resorted to posting a sign that read: "P... read more..

31 Mar

One-liners

Susan Davis

784

One-Liner #1560

The only problem with buying a book on amnesia is that you are likely to forget where you put it!... read more..

28 Mar

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

1011

Ants, Ants, Ants, Where's the Uncles

I have learned in my life that the small things are the ones that get you down. You would think the big things are the ones to steal most of your time. But those big things call attention to the read more..

28 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3123

Taste It

One afternoon a waiter served a bowl of chicken soup to an elderly gentleman. As he turned away to return to the kitchen the customer stopped him, calling:......"Waiter!" WAITER: "Yes, sir, is there ... read more..

28 Mar

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

618

Cybersalt News - March 28, 2021

Sunday greetings everyone and Happy Palm Sunday! When I was pastoring local churches, many times I said, "If people listened to their doctor like they listened to their pastor, they'd be dead." ... read more..

27 Mar

Quotes

Susan Davis

693

Quote #1996

"Blessed is the King who comes in the name of the Lord! Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!" And some said to him, "Teacher, rebuke your disciples." He answered, "I tell you, if these we read more..

27 Mar

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2246

Pet Rations

“Food for bad dogs is bought by the pound.”... read more..

27 Mar

One-liners

Susan Davis

701

One-Liner #1559

You know children are growing up when they start asking questions that have answers.... read more..

27 Mar

Illustrations

Susan Davis

907

The Lamb

"A little lamb was born all wooly-white with skinny legs and a wet nose, pretty much like all the other little lambs. But as the lamb grew into a sheep, the other sheep began to notice a difference. T read more..

25 Mar

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

588

Cybersalt News - March 25, 2021

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! My friend, Brian has a hobby farm and one of the animals he farms is . . . . . . , you got it - chickens! Yesterday, he posted a video of his chickens when it started to r... read more..

24 Mar

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3630

Things in Common

A woman went to a computer dating service and said she didn't care about looks, income or background. All she wanted was a man of upright character. Then a man came in and told them the only thing... read more..

24 Mar

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3018

Wifi and Husband

So these 2 iPhones got married … the wedding was beautiful, but the reception was horrible.... read more..

24 Mar

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2092

Flexibility, Adaptability

I went into the greasy spoon next to the office and ordered a Tuna On Wheat. The waiter said, "Oh, I'm sorry, we're out of wheat bread. You'll have to have it on white." The next day I went to the sa... read more..

24 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3350

Flight Instructions

During a business trip to Boeing's Everett, Washington factory, I noticed several 747 and 777 airliners being assembled. Before the engines were installed, huge weights were hung from the wings to ke... read more..

24 Mar

Quotes

Susan Davis

710

Quote #1995

"If people are doubting how far you can go, go so far that you can't hear them anymore." - Michelle Ruiz read more..

24 Mar

One-liners

Susan Davis

734

One-Liner #1558

A dog's life wouldn't be too bad … all a dog has to worry about is the toilet seat falling on it's head.... read more..

21 Mar

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

945

Knock, Knock; Someone’s in Trouble

For some reason, the last several weeks we have been getting many visitors at our door. I'm not sure if this is a general trend or if it is just our door. Some of them have been salesmen, religio... read more..

21 Mar

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

980

If It Was Up To Me

Fifty years ago, I was a teenager. Boy, do I miss those Days of Yore. It's not that I would like to relive them, but I was a much different person back then. As a teenager, I knew everything, an... read more..

21 Mar

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

605

Cybersalt News - March 21, 2021

Sunday greetings everyone and welcome to spring or fall, depending on which hemisphere you live in! The video of my friend's funeral is now online on the Asleep In Christ website. This is a web site ... read more..

20 Mar

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3355

Ironic Call

One day an employee came into work with both of his ears bandaged. His boss asked him what happened to his ears. "Yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and I accidentally answered the i... read more..

20 Mar

Quotes

Susan Davis

768

Quote #1994

"Don't give up what you want most for what you want now." - Richard G. Scott read more..

20 Mar

One-liners

Susan Davis

695

One-Liner #1557

It's not a sin to be rich … it's a miracle!... read more..

20 Mar

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2470

Hidden Family

An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.... read more..

20 Mar

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2111

God is Watching

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take on... read more..

18 Mar

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

570

Cybersalt News - March 18, 2021

Oh look, Chicken Thursday. I want to thank everyone for your kind and caring words after I shared the news of my dear friend's passing. I did not fly back home for his service, but did deliver his eu... read more..

17 Mar

Quotes

Susan Davis

823

Quote #1993

If you wear your jeans five days in a row, they become all baggy and it looks like you're losing weight. Follow me for more quarantine life pro tips! read more..