July 2021 - Monthly Archive

31 Jul

Quotes

Susan Davis

770

Quote #2028

"The remarkable thing about God is that when you fear God, you fear nothing else, whereas if you do not fear God, you fear everything else." - Oswald Chambers read more..

31 Jul

One-liners

Susan Davis

774

One-Liner #1591

The longest drum solo was 10 hours and 26 minutes and was performed by the child sitting behind me on Delta flight 963 from LA to Tokyo.... read more..

31 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3305

I was recovering from surgery when a charity representative phoned asking me to take part in a door-to-door fund-raising effort. "Sorry," I replied, "but I've been incapacitated." Undaunted, the cal... read more..

31 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2152

Lunar Ambiance

The first restaurant on the moon will never do very well. It might have great food, but will never have any atmosphere.... read more..

31 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1724

Unnecessary Work

I was scrubbing the bulkhead on the USS Kitty Hawk one Sunday morning when the loud-speaker announced, "Religious services. Maintain silence about the decks. Discontinue all unnecessary work." An hou... read more..

29 Jul

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

597

Cybersalt News - July 29, 2021

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! In last Sunday's mailing, the video share was of an amazing Oboe performance - apparently not! It was an amazing performance, but the instrument being played was actually a... read more..

28 Jul

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3480

Ball of Fire

London - Panic gripped the streets of London this morning when patches of sky took on an unusual blue color and a ball of fire appeared above the city. The phenomenon, known as 'The Sun' and common... read more..

28 Jul

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3259

Goober Rescue

If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:https://www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-goober One day a Goober went to a seafood restaurant and saw the t... read more..

28 Jul

Quotes

Susan Davis

664

Quote #2027

"An adventure is only an inconvenience rightly considered. An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered." - G. K. Chesterton read more..

28 Jul

One-liners

Susan Davis

426

One-Liner #1590

Do clouds ever look down on us and say that one is shaped like a goober?... read more..

28 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2365

Flavor Delay

I put some turnips, my eleven-year-old son's least-favorite vegetable, on his dinner plate and instructed him to eat everything. He cleaned his plate, except for the turnip. I pointed out to him that... read more..

28 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2240

Forgive and Forget

Early in their marriage, my Dad did something really stupid. My Mom chewed him out for it. He apologized, they made up. However, from time to time, my Mom mentioned what he had done. "Honey," my Dad... read more..

28 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3227

The Place for Grace

When little Johnny received his plate he started eating right away. "Johnny wait until we say our prayer." "I don't have to," the boy replied. "Of course, you do," his mother insisted. "... read more..

25 Jul

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

983

Where Oh Where Is My Hair?

I must confess I sometimes get so busy that certain things have slipped my mind. I don't do this intentionally, but I try to prioritize things in my life. With so many things going on, it is tough to... read more..

25 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2975

Fee Surprise

Two brawny men came to my house to install some new floor covering in the kitchen. Once they had moved the stove and refrigerator out of the way, it was not long before the job was done. As they were... read more..

25 Jul

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

563

Cybersalt News - July 25, 2021

Sunday greetings everyone! Today's mailing is much shorter than usual. Grandma Cybersalt is away camping with some of our kids and grandkids, so my plate is fuller around Cybersalt World Headquarters... read more..

22 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3145

Office Hours

"So tell me, Mrs. Smith," asked the interviewer, "have you any other skills you think might be worth mentioning?" "Actually, yes," said the applicant modestly. "Last year I had two short stories publ read more..

22 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2276

Chip-in for Dinner

The Golfer's Diet: Live on greens as much as possible.... read more..

22 Jul

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

642

Cybersalt News - July 22, 2021

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! If you are reading this news at the beginning of today's PearlyGates mailing, you will notice two items instead of one. That is because neither one of those pieces of conte... read more..

21 Jul

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

4057

Vacation Reflection

A neighbor of mine took off with his family to see the country. When he returned, I asked how he enjoyed the vacation. He replied, "Have you ever spent 3 weeks in a mini-van with those you thought... read more..

21 Jul

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3145

Walking

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just leave me alone.... read more..

21 Jul

Quotes

Susan Davis

700

Quote #2026

"Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability." - Sam Keen read more..

21 Jul

One-liners

Susan Davis

1021

One-Liner #1589

My mind still thinks I'm 25; my body thinks my mind is an idiot!... read more..

18 Jul

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

1079

Bump, Bump, Bump, Where’s the Scratch?

Life can get crazy because there are so many crazy people in the world. I know, I’m one. Through the years, I have come to appreciate crazy people. They make life interesting and make me look less cr... read more..

18 Jul

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

580

Cybersalt News - July 18, 2021

Sunday greetings everyone! You may notice a little formatting change in the Cybersalt Digest today. There will continue to be a CleanQuote in each issue, but we are no longer going to make a graphic ... read more..

17 Jul

Quotes

Susan Davis

784

Quote #2025

"Since it is so likely that children will meet cruel enemies, let them at least have heard of brave knights and heroic courage." - C. S. Lewis read more..

17 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2812

News Room Witless

I was the editor of a small daily newspaper. Someone came into the newsroom and asked if anyone was a notary public. One not too bright reporter said, "I guess I am. I voted that way in the last elec... read more..

17 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2235

God Knows Us

A golfer, now into his golden years, had a lifelong ambition to play one hole at Pebble Beach, California the way the pros do it. The pros drive the ball out over the water onto the green that is on a... read more..

17 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3167

Lost Turnabout

Driving to a new restaurant, a woman took several wrong turns. When she finally found the right road, she asked her husband, "Why didn't you tell me I was lost?" "I thought you knew where you were go... read more..

17 Jul

One-liners

Susan Davis

988

One-Liner #1588

Fish bite twice a day ... before you get there and after you leave.... read more..