October 2021 - Monthly Archive

31 Oct

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

565

Cybersalt News - October 31, 2021

Sunday greetings everyone. The fire on the cargo ship off the coast of Cybersalt World Headquarters is out. All that is left is for the salvage company to collect all the fridges and other cargo that... read more..

30 Oct

Quotes

Susan Davis

594

Quote #2045

Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars. - Khalil Gibran... read more..

30 Oct

One-liners

Susan Davis

746

One-Liner #1608

Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say, "Close enough."... read more..

30 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4877

Isn't That Nice?

Two delicate flowers of Southern womanhood (one of whom was from Texas) were conversing on the porch swing of a large white-pillared mansion. The first woman, who was not from Texas, said, "When my f... read more..

30 Oct

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2352

Personality Spill

I walked into a coffee shop to find the woman behind the counter with a bunch of sponges pinned to her uniform. "I'm assuming this is a costume, but just what are you supposed to be?" I asked. The w... read more..

30 Oct

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2128

Treasures in Heaven

Old man Fielding, the miser, at last went to his reward and presented himself at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter greeted him with appropriate solemnity and escorted him to his new abode. Walking past nu... read more..

28 Oct

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

6153

Changing Jobs

A salesman, tired of his job, gave it up to become a policeman. Several months later, a friend asked him how he liked his new role. "Well," he replied, "the pay is good and the hours aren't bad, b... read more..

28 Oct

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

595

Cybersalt News - October 28, 2021

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! Today's new items are scattered and somewhat unrelated - much like my thoughts lately! If you have tried to visit any of the pages on the Cybersalt.org site during the pas... read more..

27 Oct

Quotes

Susan Davis

628

Quote #2044

Do not look where you fell. Look where you slipped. - African Proverb... read more..

27 Oct

One-liners

Susan Davis

741

One-Liner #1607

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you'll get if you're able to "fall asleep right now."... read more..

27 Oct

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1741

Gas Prices

Do you think a gallon of gas is expensive? Just put things a bit in perspective. Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz $1.19 = $9.52 per gallon Ocean Spray 16 oz $1.25 = $10.00 per gallon Gatorade 20 oz $1.59 = $1... read more..

27 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

6598

Sponge Mistake

In the doctors office two patients are talking. "You know, I had an appendectomy last month and the doctor left a sponge in me by mistake." "A sponge!" exclaims the other. "And do you feel much pain... read more..

27 Oct

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4887

I Do?

A shotgun wedding is a case of wife or death.... read more..

24 Oct

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

640

Cybersalt News - October 24, 2021

Sunday greetings everyone. Cybersalt World Headquarters is a pretty noisy place this weekend as we enjoy some family time with two of our kids and their families. One of the things on the agenda is s... read more..

23 Oct

One-liners

Susan Davis

587

One-Liner #1606

I always carry a pebble with me to throw at people who sing Christmas songs in October ... I call it my jingle bell rock.... read more..

23 Oct

Quotes

Susan Davis

624

Quote #2043

"There is of course no intellectual discipline which is more exacting than the discipline which makes it possible to enter into another person's point of view, whose antecedents and training and envir read more..

23 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3345

Bystander

Man: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl? Bystander: It's a girl. She's my daughter. Man: Oh, please forgive me, sir. I had no idea you were her ... read more..

23 Oct

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2412

Tarmacattack

Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake City: The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, "That was quite a bump and I know what ya'll are thinking. I'm here ... read more..

23 Oct

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2039

Letters to Pastors

**Dear Pastor, I know God loves everybody but He never met my sister. Yours sincerely, Arnold. Age 8, Nashville. **Dear Pastor, Please say in your sermon that Peter Peterson has been a good boy all w read more..

21 Oct

Quotes

Susan Davis

612

Quote #2042

“One important dimension of prayer is finding your own ritual and your own routine. Just like Daniel, you need to find your open window toward Jerusalem.” - Mark Batterson... read more..

21 Oct

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3543

Big John

A very small, mousy man was hired as a bartender in the Old West. The saloon owner advised him, "If you ever hear that Big John is coming to town, drop everything and run for your life." The bartend... read more..

21 Oct

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

580

Cybersalt News - October 21, 2021

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! I have good news and bad news. The good news is that many of you sent solutions and other fun sentences to the express the intent of the sentence you can speak but is impo... read more..

20 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3241

Medical Fraud

The police recently busted a man selling 'secret formula' tablets he claimed gave eternal youth. When going through their files they noticed it was the fifth time he was caught for committing this sa... read more..

20 Oct

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2265

Scales of War

Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other, "I'll man the guns, you drive."... read more..

20 Oct

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1823

Materialism

A very successful lawyer parked his brand new Lexus in front of the office, ready to show it off to his colleagues. As he got out, a truck came along, too close to the curb, and completely tore off th... read more..

19 Oct

One-liners

Susan Davis

704

One-Liner #1605

I thought the dryer made my clothes shrink; turns out it was the refrigerator.... read more..

17 Oct

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

601

Cybersalt News - October 17, 2021

Sunday greetings everyone. The rains have returned to Cybersalt World Headquarters as we enter into the season of our late fall and early winter storms that roll in off of the Pacific Ocean. This wee... read more..

16 Oct

One-liners

Susan Davis

693

One-Liner #1604

I got pulled over in the HOV lane for driving alone. I said that due to social distancing, my passenger was in the car behind me!... read more..

16 Oct

Clean Puns

Susan Davis

994

Jail Break

Today I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall. I thought to myself, "That's a little condescending!"... read more..

Communicating the Gospel - Keep it Simple

16 Oct

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2059

Communicating the Gospel - Keep it Simple

In promulgating your esoteric cogitations or articulating your superficial sentimentalities, and amicable philosophical or psychological observations, beware of platitudinous ponderosity. Let your con... read more..