2021 - Monthly Archive - Results from #300

30 Jun

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

5296

On Star Locks

If I lock my keys in my car, all I have to do is call OnStar and they unlock my car. If the car is stolen, they can lock all the doors and trap the thief in the car. Whenever my wife tells me she ... read more..

30 Jun

One-liners

Susan Davis

737

One-Liner #1583

I just got kicked out of the flat earth Facebook group because I asked if the 6 foot social distancing rule had pushed anyone over the edge yet.... read more..

30 Jun

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2370

Aussie Cables

“Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.”... read more..

30 Jun

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1705

Scientific Advances

While I was employed by a private corporation and assigned to the space-shuttle program, my job included ordering supplies. One of the engineers asked me to get a new dictionary for him. The request ... read more..

30 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5184

Tourist Questions

Here are some of the "All-Time Dumbest Questions" asked by Banff Park tourists. On nature... How do the elk know they're supposed to cross at the "Elk Crossing" signs? At what elevation does an e... read more..

27 Jun

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

1128

Where Do Wrinkles Come From?

Several months ago, I had two cataracts removed from my eyes. How they got there, I don't know. As far as I can remember, they never asked my permission, and furthermore, they never paid rent for bein... read more..

26 Jun

Quotes

Susan Davis

781

Quote #2016

"Children see magic because they look for it." - Christopher Moore read more..

26 Jun

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2198

Blue Moon

Some people like raw meat on rare occasions.... read more..

26 Jun

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1715

Consistency

A man goes to consult Dr. Mike Wilson, the most expensive doctor in the city about his medical problem. After the visit the man asks, "How much do I owe you?" "My fee is five hundred dollars," repli... read more..

26 Jun

One-liners

Susan Davis

756

One-Liner #1579

Based on the amount of laundry I do each week, I'm beginning to think there are people who live here that I haven't met yet.... read more..

24 Jun

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

590

Cybersalt News - June 24, 2021

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! I've been up all night helping someone with their government site in Italy. So with sleepy eyes I hope you enjoy the rest of today's mailing. ~ Pastor Tim... read more..

23 Jun

Quotes

Susan Davis

730

Quote #2019

I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought; and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder. - G. K. Chesterton read more..

23 Jun

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2358

Sister Clothes

Have you heard about the latest new drug? When administered to women, it gives them the irresistible urge to join a convent. The FDA refuses to approve it, though. They fear it will be habit-forming... read more..

23 Jun

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1703

Long Life, Surviving, Aging

When my grandmother was in her late eighties, she decided to move to Israel. As part of the preparations, she went to see her doctor and get all her charts. The doctor asked her how she was doing, so... read more..

23 Jun

One-liners

Susan Davis

903

One-Liner #1582

My wife is singing in the house; I'm sitting outside so the neighbors don't think I'm hitting her.... read more..

23 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2835

Tried and Trusted

A wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the bank manager, "I would like to speak with Mr. Reginald Jones, who I understand is a tried and trusted employee of yours." The banker said, "Yes h... read more..

20 Jun

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

1040

Will We Be Served Coffee in Heaven?

The last several weeks have truly been hectic in every sense of the word. Trying to catch up can be a never-ending job. When I think I’m caught up, I see another thing I need to do. I have learned th... read more..

20 Jun

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

587

Cybersalt News - June 20, 2021

Sunday greetings everyone, and happy Father's Day to everyone who is able to celebrate! Today is the longest day of the year in the northern hemisphere. It's the first day of summer, which is excitin... read more..

19 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5246

Dad Sayings

I figured out why they call our language the "Mother Tongue." Fathers never get a chance to use much of it. Say what you will about healthy eating and all, but I've always found it awfully difficult ... read more..

19 Jun

One-liners

Susan Davis

735

One-Liner #1581

"I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot." - Rodney Dangerfield read more..

19 Jun

Quotes

Susan Davis

740

Quote #2018

“Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow.” - Reed Markham read more..

19 Jun

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2127

Husband Diagnosis

Rose accompanied her husband Tom to his annual checkup. While Tom was getting dressed, the doctor came out and said to Rose, “I don’t like the way he looks.” “Neither do I,” she said. “But he’s hand... read more..

19 Jun

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1803

Horseshoe Impression

One day a cowboy walked into a blacksmith shop and picked up a horseshoe, not realizing that it had just come from the forge. He immediately dropped it and jammed his hand into his pocket, trying to a... read more..

17 Jun

Quotes

Susan Davis

740

Quote #2017

"One of the positive features of a season of liminality is that it provides a pause that lets what has to belong in the past to be left in the past, so that the future can come can as it must and bl read more..

17 Jun

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

583

Cybersalt News - June 17, 2021

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! The big news, figuratively and literally, around Cybersalt World Headquarters is Grandma Cybersalt have a new grandson! Isaac Timothy Driver was born at 1:16pm, weighing ... read more..

16 Jun

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

5037

Van Woes

A woman drove a mini-van filled with a dozen screaming kids through the mall parking lot, looking for a space. Obviously frazzled, she coasted through a stop sign. "Hey, lady, have you forgotten h... read more..

16 Jun

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2112

Paying Through the Nose

Drug research companies have created their own cold rush.... read more..

16 Jun

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1839

A Survivor

"I've had laryngitis, tonsillitis, hepatitis, meningitis, appendicitis, tendinitis, and colitis. I've also suffered from gastritis, bronchitis, gingivitis, bursitis, and arthritis. "I've been held up read more..

16 Jun

One-liners

Susan Davis

764

One-Liner #1580

I'm the type of wife that will help my husband look for his chocolate, that I ate.... read more..

16 Jun

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4552

Office Dog

A salesman dropped in to see a business customer. Not a soul was in the office except a big dog emptying wastebaskets. The salesman stared at the animal, wondering if his imagination could be playing ... read more..