2022 - Monthly Archive - Results from #300

20 Jul

Quotes

Susan Davis

515

Quote #2104

"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us." - J. R. Tolkien The Fellowship of the Ring read more..

20 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5107

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. Everybody repeat after me: "We are all individuals" Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines. No one is listening until you make a mistake. S... read more..

20 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2066

Don't Judge a Stew by Its Cover

A young couple's marriage was suffering from her inability to cook. Things really got bad the night that the husband fished a piece of paper out of his stew. He unfolded the paper and read, "Nobly, n... read more..

Why Universities Would Never Give God a PHD

20 Jul

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

2728

Why Universities Would Never Give God a PHD

Why Universities Would Never Give God A PHD 1. He had only one major publication. 2. It was in Hebrew. 3. It had no references. 4. It wasn't published in a refereed journal. 5. Some even doubt ... read more..

20 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2629

Mom Through the Ages

4 years old: My Mommy can do anything! 8 years old: My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot! 12 years old: My Mother doesn't really know quite everything. 14 years old: Naturally, Mother doesn't know that,... read more..

17 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1923

Not Much of a Fighter

One day a discussion was focused on a particular historical church leader in a First Grade religion class. After school, one student came home all excited and blurted out to his mother, "Guess what, ... read more..

17 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1932

Good Works, Heaven

"If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?" I asked the children in my Sunday School class. "NO!" the children all answe read more..

17 Jul

Quotes

Susan Davis

508

Quote #2102

"Lower your expectations of earth. This isn't heaven, so don't expect it to be." - Max Lucado read more..

17 Jul

One-liners

Susan Davis

521

One-Liner #1665

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason. - Jerry Seinfeld... read more..

17 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3168

It's Not A Cat

It's not a cat it's... A small, four-legged, fur-bearing extortionist. A wildlife control expert impersonator. An un-programmable animal. A four footed allergen. A hair relocation expert. A tr... read more..

17 Jul

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

426

Cybersalt News - July 17, 2022

Sunday greetings, everyone. This is actually the mailing I lined up to go out last Sunday, but on Thursday I noticed it hadn't gone out as planned so here it is again today, which explains why some of... read more..

14 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2459

Scroll Worker

Did you hear about the guy from Utah who wanted to become a writer? Well, he tried for many years but never produced anything he was satisfied with and, certainly, never sold anything. So, he took up... read more..

14 Jul

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

440

Cybersalt News - July 14, 2022

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! My shop cleanup project is coming along. My progress was slowed for 3 days due to a sprained ankle (not due to tripping on clutter), but I now have a clear path to the back... read more..

13 Jul

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3783

Buying a Mature Woman's Bathing Suit

The Bathing Suit (by an unknown middle-aged woman) When I was a child in the 1950s, the bathing suit for the mature figure was-boned, trussed and reinforced, not so much sewn as engineered. They were... read more..

13 Jul

One-liners

Susan Davis

500

One-Liner #1666

I ate a clock yesterday; it was very time consuming.... read more..

13 Jul

Quotes

Susan Davis

521

Quote #2103

"I'm not busy ... a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't think my schedule looked so busy." - Garrison Keillor read more..

13 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2288

Prejudice, Anti-Semitism

The wonderful comic, Sam Levenson, had a great answer to anti-Semites. "It's a free world and you don't have to like Jews, but if you DON'T, I suggest that you boycott certain Jewish products, like .... read more..

13 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5518

Actual Warnings On Products

On instructions for a hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. On a bar of Dial bath bar: Directions: Use like regular ... read more..

09 Jul

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

912

Doctors Are Always Right

Last year I suffered what is referred to as a heart attack. I got to the hospital in time, so there was no major damage. I had one artery known as the "Widow Maker" that was 90% blocked, which seemed ... read more..

07 Jul

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

428

Cybersalt News - July 7, 2022

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! One of the signs that tells me I am tired and need a break is when I notice an increase in wanting to reply to some of the stupid things people post on social media. I'm no... read more..

06 Jul

Clean Jokes

3854

Turn Around

A local priest and pastor were fishing on the side of the road. They thoughtfully made a sign saying, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around now before it's too late!" and showed it to each passing c... read more..

06 Jul

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

5410

29 Ways to Annoy People

1. Leave the photocopier set to "reduce 200%, extra dark, 17-inch paper, 99 copies." 2. Sit in your yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow read more..

06 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3037

Unspeakable

"Hundreds of kids are shipped off to Mime Boarding School every year, never to be heard from again." read more..

06 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1878

Few Words

Calvin Coolidge, the 30th president of the United States, was popularly known as "Silent Cal." One time at a party, a woman walked up to him and said, "My husband bet me I couldn't get three words ou... read more..

06 Jul

One-liners

Susan Davis

566

One-Liner #1664

When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.... read more..

06 Jul

Quotes

Susan Davis

529

Quote #2101

“Life is truly a ride. We're all strapped in and no one can stop it. When the doctor slaps your behind, he's ripping your ticket and away you go. As you make each passage from youth to adulthood to ma... read more..

03 Jul

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

434

Cybersalt News - July 3, 2022

Sunday greetings, everyone. I mentioned last weekend I was in Port Angeles, Washington, USA. The idea for that trip began when a client of mine from the UK told me he was travelling to Port Town... read more..

02 Jul

Suneel Barkat

Rev. Suneel Barkat

733

Amazing Miracle

Matthew.14:22,23 The sea of Galilee is especially well known to Christians because it was the scene of many episodes of the life and ministry of Jesus Christ. When Jesus performed the miracle of feed... read more..