2022 - Monthly Archive - Results from #570

26 Jan

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2019

Keep your Childish Point of View!

When I look at a patch of dandelions, I see a bunch of weeds that are going to take over my yard. My kids see flowers for Mom and blowing white fluff, you can wish on. When I look at a homeless pers... read more..

26 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

7427

Cursing Parrot

Jimmy received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown, with a very bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was a swear word; those that weren't cursing were very rude. Jimm... read more..

26 Jan

One-liners

Susan Davis

548

One-Liner #1629

I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned!... read more..

23 Jan

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

874

What Did She Just Say?

To be honest, I don't always hear what I'm supposed to hear. I do have ears, but sometimes they are not working in such a way as to benefit me. Often, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage will talk... read more..

23 Jan

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

552

Cybersalt News - January 23, 2021

Sunday greetings everyone. There was no mailing last Chicken Thursday because I was not feeling very well when it came time to put the final touches on the issue and send it out. I have been having ... read more..

22 Jan

Quotes

Susan Davis

556

Quote #2065

"To stay away from Christianity because part of the Bible's teaching is offensive to you assumes that if there is a God he wouldn't have any views that upset you. Does that belief make sense?" - Timo read more..

22 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3117

Theories of Cat Behavior

LAW OF CAT INERTIAA cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force, such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse. LAW OF CAT MOTIONA cat will move in... read more..

22 Jan

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2390

Mathroom

"Hypotenuse: Washroom upstairs is occupied." - Paul Dickson read more..

22 Jan

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2175

God, Our Father

A young boy burst into the great throne chambers of a medieval king. The boy was skipping and singing as children do. He was completely oblivious to the regal sobriety of his surroundings. Suddenly, h... read more..

19 Jan

One-liners

Susan Davis

598

One-Liner #1628

Ring your doorbell on your way to bed; this will clear the dogs off of the bed just long enough for you to get comfortable.... read more..

16 Jan

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

496

Cybersalt News - January 16, 2021

Sunday greetings everyone. Grandma Cybersalt and I woke up to a tsunami warning yesterday. That sounds far more dramatic than it actually was because even though Cybersalt World Headquarters is only ... read more..

15 Jan

Quotes

Susan Davis

578

Quote #2064

"O God, when my faith gets overlade with dust, blow it clean with the wind of your Spirit. When my habits of obedience get stiff and rusty, anoint them with the oil of your Spirit. Restore the enthusi read more..

15 Jan

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2111

Time to Eat

"When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds." read more..

15 Jan

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1819

Arrest Mistake

A man is being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy boulevard. Suddenly the light turns yellow just in front of him. He does the right thing and stops at the crosswalk, even though he could hav... read more..

15 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3473

Road Closed

Signs warning of closed roadways are frequently ignored in rural Minnesota, so highway workers barely took notice when a woman drove past their sign and over the hill before she stopped at the trench ... read more..

15 Jan

One-liners

Susan Davis

707

One-Liner #1627

To everyone that received a book from me for Christmas, they're due back at the library next Friday.... read more..

13 Jan

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

518

Cybersalt News - January 13, 2021

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! I was sorry to hear that Bob Saget, the host of America's Funniest Home Videos, passed away this past week. It bought back a flood of memories from a time when the ava... read more..

12 Jan

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

7077

Good News and Bad News for a Pastor

Good News and Bad News for a Pastor Good News: You baptized seven people today in the river. Bad News: You lost two of them in the swift current. Good News: The Women's Guild voted to send you a get... read more..

12 Jan

Quotes

Susan Davis

577

Quote #2063

"When in doubt, look intelligent!" - Garrison Keillor read more..

12 Jan

One-liners

Susan Davis

667

One-Liner #1626

So if a cow doesn't produce milk, is it a milk dud or an udder failure?... read more..

12 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3671

Grandma's Meat Loaf

A recent bride called her mother one evening in tears. "Oh, Mom, I tried to make Grandmother's meat loaf for dinner tonight, and it's just awful! I followed the recipe exactly, and I know I have the r... read more..

12 Jan

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2697

Treetop Service

Sign on a diaper service truck: "Rock a dry baby."... read more..

12 Jan

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

2104

Deep Thoughts on Work

* Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is supposed to be doing. * At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carry read more..

10 Jan

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

679

I Just Kissed Yesterday Goodbye

Focus is an essential part of getting something done. Sometimes my focus is more on yesterday than it is today. I waste a lot of time looking backward. The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage often re... read more..

09 Jan

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1732

Encouraging Preachers, Pastoral Change

How to Get Rid of Your Preacher: - Look him straight in the eye and say 'Amen' once in a while. He'll preach himself to death within a few weeks. - Pat him on the back and brag on his good points. H... read more..

09 Jan

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

773

I Didn’t Do It My Way

I don’t think I’ve learned very much during my life. I just bounce from day to day and take what comes. The one thing I did learn as I look back is, for the most part, I didn’t do it my way. Remembe... read more..

09 Jan

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

436

Cybersalt News - January 9, 2021

Sunday greetings everyone. Thank you so much for all of the messages of sympathy, condolence, and encouragement after the passing of my sister, Melissa. Susan and I appreciate all of your spoken and ... read more..

08 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3390

Blood Flow

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would t... read more..

08 Jan

Quotes

Susan Davis

544

Quote #2062

"One thing I have learned from marriage is that my wife and I excel at misunderstanding. Clearly there is only one way to understand what I just said, right? I mean, what other way could there possibl read more..

08 Jan

One-liners

Susan Davis

758

One-Liner #1625

Chocolate is God's way of telling us he likes us a little bit chubby.... read more..