January 2024 - Monthly Archive

31 Jan

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

2923

Cards You Will Never See From Hallmark

"Congratulations on your wedding day! Too bad no one likes your wife." "How could two people as beautiful you have such an ugly baby?" "I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. A read more..

31 Jan

Quotes

Susan Davis

397

Quote #2240

"May we think of freedom not as the right to do as we please, but the opportunity to do what is right." - Peter Marshall read more..

31 Jan

One-liners

Susan Davis

323

One-Liner #1805

Yesterday, I was washing the car with my son; he said: "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"... read more..

31 Jan

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2255

Broken Pun

My ten-year-old son informed us that part of his tooth had come out. We checked and, sure enough, a piece had broken off. Trying to lighten the moment, I asked my husband, "What do you suppose the to... read more..

Kindness in Marriage, Makeup, Plastic Surgery

31 Jan

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1818

Kindness in Marriage, Makeup, Plastic Surgery

The lady of the house announced to her husband that she was going to the beauty parlor. He asked, "Are you going in for an estimate or are you going to get the work done?"... read more..

31 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4144

Poor Vagabond

A poor vagabond, traveling a country road in England, tired and hungry, came to a roadside Inn with a sign reading: "George and the Dragon." He knocked gently on the door. The Innkeeper's wife stuck... read more..

27 Jan

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

558

Do I Need to Repeat That?

Of all the holidays during the year that I like, my birthday is at the bottom of the list. Now that I'm at my current age, I prefer not to be reminded that I'm getting older. All a birthday does for m... read more..

27 Jan

One-liners

Susan Davis

356

One-Liner #1804

I don't know how many coffees it takes to be friendly, but so far it's more than 12.... read more..

27 Jan

Quotes

Susan Davis

385

Quote #2239

"When the phone was tied with a wire, humans were free." - unknown read more..

27 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3194

Wittle Wabbits

A little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep wittle wabbits?" And the shopkeeper bends way down and puts his hands on his knees so that ... read more..

27 Jan

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2104

Atheists

An atheist is a person who has no invisible means of support.... read more..

27 Jan

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1766

Curiosity, Sinful Nature

A teacher was winding up a discussion in her fourth grade class on the importance of curiosity. Teacher: "Where would we be today if no one had ever been curious?" Child: "In the Garden of Eden?"... read more..

27 Jan

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

369

Cybersalt News - January 28, 2024

Sunday greetings, everyone! Excitement is ramping up at Cybersalt World Headquarters as Grandma Cybersalt's 60th birthday approaches on Tuesday! I have already bought Susan her birthday gift. I know ... read more..

25 Jan

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3238

School Question

A University of Alabama football player was visiting a Yankee relative in Boston over the holidays. He went to a large party and met a pretty co-ed. He was attempting to start up a conversation with ... read more..

25 Jan

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

322

Cybersalt News - January 25, 2024

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! I have sprained my ankle and it's super painful, though I did have some nice relief last night when I was sitting at the desk working and my foot went numb. No worries... read more..

24 Jan

Quotes

Susan Davis

442

Quote #2238

Said the horse, "You can lead a human to knowledge, but you can't make it think."... read more..

24 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3288

Job Search Woe

Catherine, a RN, was unhappy with her job, so she submitted her resignation. She was sure she'd have no trouble finding a new position, because of the nursing shortage in her area. She e-mailed cover... read more..

24 Jan

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2360

Birth Registration

George goes to the Birth Registration Office to register his newborn son. The woman behind the counter asks the name he wants to give to the boy, and the father replies: "Euro." The woman says that s... read more..

Credit, Stewardship, Financial Responsibility

24 Jan

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1768

Credit, Stewardship, Financial Responsibility

I got some bad news today: You know the money you get from those ATM machines? It comes from YOUR account!... read more..

24 Jan

One-liners

Susan Davis

358

One-Liner #1803

Swedish astronomer Anders Celsius died in 1744 aged 43 though his rival Fahrenheit was convinced he was 109.... read more..

21 Jan

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

347

Cybersalt News - January 21, 2024

Sunday greetings, everyone! The cold air has departed and the rain has returned, "shoveling" the snow away for the last couple of days around Cybersalt World Headquarters. The forecast is calling for... read more..

20 Jan

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

703

My Oh My What a Nice Slice of Pie

Whenever things go better than you can imagine, it is always a red flag to pay attention because something is wrong. I don’t always catch it, and I have paid the price. One day this past week, The Gr... read more..

20 Jan

Quotes

Susan Davis

364

Quote #2237

"Shame dies when stories are told in safe places." - Ann Voskamp read more..

20 Jan

One-liners

Susan Davis

403

One-Liner #1802

People write "congrats" because they can't spell congrajlashins.... read more..

20 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2958

Ten for Sure

My friend, the manager of a grocery store, nabbed a shoplifter in the act. He was escorting the suspect to the office in the front of the store (near the cash registers), when the shoplifter broke fro... read more..

20 Jan

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

4150

Clinic Sign

From a sign at the blood donor clinic: "Sorry to needle you. We need your blood."... read more..

20 Jan

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1809

Testimony

The priest is repairing the church fence. A boy is standing nearby for a long while. The priest asks him: "Do you want to speak with me, my son?" "No, I'm just waiting." "Waiting for what?" "Waiti... read more..

18 Jan

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

339

Cybersalt News - January 18, 2024

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! We got enough snow at Cybersalt World Headquarters yesterday for me to go out and do some shoveling. If you live anywhere that gets enough snow to shovel, you will know the... read more..

17 Jan

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

7403

Southern Hospitality

A very gentle southern lady was driving across the Savannah River Bridge in Georgia one day. As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixin' to jump. She stopped her car, rolled ... read more..

17 Jan

Quotes

Susan Davis

368

Quote #2236

"Pay attention to your patterns. The way you learned to survive may not be the way you want to continue to live. Heal and shift." - Dr. Thema Bryant-Davis read more..