2024 - Monthly Archive - Results from #570

17 Jan

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

7380

Southern Hospitality

A very gentle southern lady was driving across the Savannah River Bridge in Georgia one day. As she neared the top of the bridge, she noticed a young man fixin' to jump. She stopped her car, rolled ... read more..

17 Jan

Quotes

Susan Davis

349

Quote #2236

"Pay attention to your patterns. The way you learned to survive may not be the way you want to continue to live. Heal and shift." - Dr. Thema Bryant-Davis read more..

17 Jan

One-liners

Susan Davis

329

One-Liner #1801

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.... read more..

17 Jan

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2390

Bug Pun 1

Read a fascinating book I just got from the Discovery Channel. "Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Centipedes". It's good reading, but about 60% of the book is footnotes.... read more..

17 Jan

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1854

People and Mistakes

People who do lots of work... make lots of mistakes. People who do less work... make less mistakes. People who do no work... make no mistakes. People who make no mistakes... get promoted. That's w... read more..

17 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4218

Age Hat

In a hat shop a saleslady gushed: "That's the hat for you! It makes you look ten years younger." "Then I don't want it," retorted the customer. "I certainly can't afford to put on ten years every ti... read more..

14 Jan

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

316

Cybersalt News - January 14, 2024

Sunday greetings, everyone! Wow, is it every cold at Cybersalt World Headquarters! My dad has a saying for how cold it is, but like a lot of sayings that dad's have. I can't print it here, lol, but t... read more..

13 Jan

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

622

A Banana Split on My Mind

I must confess I heavily lean towards being a workaholic; I just love working and keeping myself busy. Years ago, I discovered that the busier I am, the less liable I am to get into trouble. No matte... read more..

13 Jan

Quotes

Susan Davis

344

Quote #2235

"Holy joy lies in the habit of murmuring thanks to God for the smallest of graces." - Ann Voskamp read more..

13 Jan

One-liners

Susan Davis

341

One-Liner #1800

My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that’s the law. - Jerry Seinfeld... read more..

13 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3399

Miracle Toddler Diet

Losing weight is the number one New Year's Resolution. The problem is, hardly anything works. Well, I found this one diet that will absolutely shed the pounds. Read it and see if you don't agree. I... read more..

13 Jan

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2330

Bridge Club

My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Saturday.... read more..

13 Jan

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1874

Dead Cat

A little boy is gone to school one day and while he is gone, his cat gets killed. His mother is very concerned about how he will take the news. Upon his arrival home, she explains the tragedy and tri... read more..

11 Jan

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

328

Cybersalt News - January 11, 2024

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! It looks like winter is actually going to make an appearance at Cybersalt World Headquarters this year (as in this winter.) The forecast is a stormy and chilly one, with th... read more..

10 Jan

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

412

Romantic Wife

A wife, being the romantic sort, sent her husband a text: “If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking se... read more..

10 Jan

Quotes

Susan Davis

550

Quote #2234

The Work of Christmas When the song of the angels is stilled, When the star in the sky is gone, When the kings and princes are home, When the shepherds are back with their flock, The work of Christm... read more..

10 Jan

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

609

What’s New About A New Year?

On New Year’s Eve, The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage and I were celebrating in our living room with some hot apple cider. We wanted to end the year together. At our age, with so many children, g... read more..

10 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

8597

Top Tips for Cheapskates

~ Old telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don't know. ~ When reading a book, try tearing out the pages as you read them. Th... read more..

10 Jan

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

3856

Cafeteria Pun

At the hospital where I work, the quality of meals offered in the employees' cafeteria is a true source of aggravation. Once I watched two young surgeons approach the serving line. After reading the... read more..

10 Jan

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1815

Finger Pointing

Trying to come to the aid of his Father, who was stopped by an officer for speeding, the lil' tyke piped up: "Yeah? Well, if we were speeding, so were you!"... read more..

10 Jan

One-liners

Susan Davis

354

One-Liner #1799

I am so busy doing nothing… that the idea of doing anything – which as you know, always leads to something – cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything. - Jerry Seinfeld... read more..

07 Jan

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

324

Cybersalt News - January 7, 2024

Sunday greetings, everyone! There was no mailing last Chicken Thursday because we were too busy to put a digest together while entertaining our guests from India. Chetan Madaan is a friend I made onl... read more..

06 Jan

Quotes

Susan Davis

361

Quote #2233

A man's greatest care should be for that place where he dwells longest; therefore eternity should be in his scope! - Thomas Manton... read more..

06 Jan

One-liners

Susan Davis

358

One-Liner #1798

If I don't text back at night it's 'cuz I'm out helping Batman.... read more..

06 Jan

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

9647

Burger Pun

Customer: "We'll have a hamburger and a Veggie Burger, please." Waiter: "Two burgers, one regular, one de-calf!"... read more..

06 Jan

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

6752

Van Gogh Family Tree

After much careful research it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives. Among them were: His obnoxious brother... Please Gogh His dizzy aunt ... Verti Gogh ... read more..

06 Jan

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

10967

The Lord's Prayer

"Our Father which art in heaven."--- Yes? Don't interrupt me. I'm praying --- But you called me Called you? I didn't call you. I'm praying. "Our father which art in heaven."--- There you did it read more..

06 Jan

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1587

Marriage, control

My wife and I get along just great, except that she's a "backseat driver" second to none. After years of putting up with her pestering, I finally decided I'd had enough and advised her that I would n... read more..