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February 2016
Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of
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Pastor Tim (54)
Search
17 Feb
Cybersalt News
Pastor Tim
1076
Cybersalt News - February 18, 2016
Oh look, Chicken Thursday! I haven't mentioned this here yet, but my church has graciously and sacrificially given me a 6 month sabbatical, which began yesterday. The day started out very early with
...
read more..
17 Feb
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1679
One-liner #0993
I misplaced my thesaurus and feel terrible; just terrible, really terrible.
...
read more..
17 Feb
Quotes
Pastor Tim
1816
Quote #1442
"Christians should not be optimists; we know too much about sin. We should also not be pessimists, for we know the living God." - Timothy Keller
read more..
17 Feb
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
5496
Brain vs Brawn
The strong young man at the construction site was bragging that he could out do anyone in a feat of strength. He made a special case of making fun of one of the older workmen. After several minutes,
...
read more..
15 Feb
Funny Pictures
Pastor Tim
3299
Remove Child
Just in case some people go too far trying to save water!
...
read more..
15 Feb
Quotes
Pastor Tim
1700
Quote #1441
"God cannot give us a happiness and peace apart form Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing." - C.S. Lewis
read more..
15 Feb
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
4322
Accents
About a year ago my sister, who lives in Virginia, was talking with her four year old son, Brent. He was asking her why all their relatives from Wisconsin talk funny and sound like their noses are pl
...
read more..
15 Feb
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3090
Contractor
My job is in the Aerospace Industry, and it's always been a challenge to explain what kind of work I do. At one gathering, I tried several unsuccessful attempted explanations before deciding to be a
read more..
15 Feb
Illustrations
Pastor Tim
1906
Inspiration
A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. "How do you know what to say?" he asked. "Why, God tells me." "Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"
read more..
15 Feb
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1314
One-liner #0992
I didn’t sleep well last night so I made my coffee this morning with Red Bull instead of water. I was half way to work when I realized I forgot my car.
read more..
14 Feb
Sermons
Pastor Tim
1445
Hate Your Enemies: You have heard that it was said
Jesus clarifies what God's desire is for our hearts in regard to our enemies. Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20160214.mp3{/audio}
read more..
14 Feb
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1475
One-liner #0991
My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his head.
read more..
14 Feb
Quotes
Pastor Tim
2157
Quote #1440
"If you do not believe in regeneration, if you do not see its utter absolute necessity, then I do not see that you have any right to regard yourself as a Christian. If you do not see that you are so
read more..
14 Feb
Cybersalt News
Pastor Tim
1169
Cybersalt News - February 15, 2016
There is a new Funny Cat Picture on Cybersalt site today. You will find "Cat Antlers" at:www.cybersalt.org/funny-cat-pictures/cat-antlers Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.
...
read more..
14 Feb
Cybersalt News
Pastor Tim
1122
Cybersalt News - February 16, 2016
There is a new Funny Picture on Cybersalt site today. You will find "Remove Child" at:www.cybersalt.org/funny-pictures/remove-child Enjoy the rest of today's mailing.
...
read more..
13 Feb
Funny Cat Pictures
Pastor Tim
9908
Cat Antlers
This magical pillow shows what pets really think of themselves.
...
read more..
13 Feb
Pearly Gates Jokes
Pastor Tim
3206
Teacher's Gifts
On a special teacher's day, a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. The florist's son handed her a gift. She shook it, held it over her head, and said, "I bet I know what it is - f
...
read more..
13 Feb
Illustrations
Pastor Tim
2360
Encyclopedia Surprise
Working as a computer instructor for an adult-education program at a community college, I am keenly aware of the gap in computer knowledge between my younger and older students. My observations were
...
read more..
13 Feb
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3932
Bilingual Parrot
This guy goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. He sees one on a perch with a red string tied to its left leg and a green string tied to it's right leg. He asks the owner the significance of the string
...
read more..
13 Feb
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2482
Roadside Puppies
A dog who gave birth to puppies on the roadside was cited for littering.
read more..
13 Feb
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3850
Guard Dog
My sister-in-law, a truck driver, decided to get a dog for protection. As she inspected a likely candidate, the trainer told her, "He doesn't like men." "Perfect," my sister-in-law thought and took
...
read more..
13 Feb
Pearly Gates Jokes
Pastor Tim
4617
Farmer Comeback
A wise old farmer went to town to buy a pickup truck that he saw advertised in the paper for a certain price. After telling the salesman which truck he wanted, they sat down to do the paperwork. When
...
read more..
13 Feb
Cybersalt News
Pastor Tim
1113
Cybersalt News - February 13, 2016
If you do not like puns do not go to Cybersalt's Valentine Pun page at:www.cybersalt.org/clean-puns/valentine-puns If you do like to read flame e-mails I am sent because some people can't take a joke
...
read more..
13 Feb
Hall of Flames
Pastor Tim
2624
Not "Foxy" Enough
When one PearyGates List subscriber unsubscribed in response to the "Hat Headline" joke I shared (which stars President Obama, The Pope, and Fox News - www.cybersalt.org/pearly-gates-jokes/hat-he
...
read more..
13 Feb
Illustrations
Pastor Tim
2053
Rest, Busyness
Helen and Amanda were discussing their busy schedules. Helen said, "Amanda, I must ask you something. Every day I feel incredibly run down and tired. And yet, I see you looking as fresh as a rose. I
...
read more..
13 Feb
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1848
Doughboy
The Pillsbury Doughboy is my my roll model.
...
read more..
13 Feb
Clean Jokes
Pastor Tim
3712
Age
When you are young, you want to be the master of your fate and the captain of your soul. When you are older, you will settle for being the master of your weight and the captain of your bowl
...
read more..
13 Feb
One-liners
Pastor Tim
1329
One-liner #0990
"I've gotten to the age where I need my false teeth and hearing aid before I can ask where I left my glasses."
read more..
12 Feb
Quotes
Pastor Tim
2591
Quote #1439
“People do not drift toward holiness. Apart from grace-driven effort, people do not gravitate toward godliness, prayer, obedience to Scripture, faith, and delight in the Lord. We drift toward compro
read more..
11 Feb
Cybersalt News
Pastor Tim
1160
Cybersalt News - February 12, 2016
It's a few days late for the best timing of this Cybersalt classic funny sign picture (which I actually took of a friend's church in 2009). Just the same, the idea of shoving pancakes has as fun
...
read more..
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