February 2005 - Monthly Archive

17 Feb

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3545

Bringing Jesus To Life

"Double, double, toil and trouble. Fire burn and cauldron bubble." The woman was hunched over, her hands clasped around an imaginary ladle, as she stirred an imaginary cauldron and continued to recite read more..

17 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3781

Rich Uncle

Two men are talking. One says to the other, "I shouldn't have told my fiancée about my rich uncle."He friend asks, "Why not?"The first man replies, "Because now she's my aunt."... read more..

17 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4308

Bubba's Friends

Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them." Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Bubba ho... read more..

16 Feb

Pastor Bert Nieuwenhuis

4709

Faith and Determination

The following is supposedly a true story. Shortly after the 911 emergency number became available, an elderly and quite ill lady appeared in a Rochester hospital emergency room, having driven herself ... read more..

16 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3510

Abstract Noun

"An abstract noun," the teacher said, "is something you can think of, but you can't touch it. Can you give me an example of one?""Sure," a teenage boy replied. "My father's new car." read more..

15 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4605

The friars of Flowers (pun alert)

Some friars were behind in their belfry payments, so they opened a small florist shop to raise the funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, the rival florist across town t... read more..

14 Feb

Dr. Harold McNabb

3190

One Temptation is as Good as Another

A couple of days ago I arrived at the church in the morning on a beautiful sunny day. Allen Houghton arrived at almost the same time for a meeting we would both attend. "Another meeting", I thought to... read more..

14 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4295

Today I didn't Do It

One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn ... read more..

14 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4252

Pilot Pride

As one of relatively few female airline pilots, I've often been mistaken for a flight attendant, ticket agent or even a snack bar employee. Occasionally people will see me in uniform and ask if I'm a... read more..

14 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4547

You Know You're Really A Mom When . . .

You Know You're Really A Mom When . . . 1. You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal. 2. You want to take out a contract on the kid who broke your child's... read more..

13 Feb

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

3558

Romance Around The Parsonage Fireplace

There is no greater place for personal reflection than before a fireplace with a cheery fire. Since our parsonage does not have a fireplace, the Mistress of the Parsonage has improvised. She purchase... read more..

13 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2973

Tough Kids

Three little boys were bragging about how tough they were."I'm so tough", said the first boy, "that I can wear out a pair of shoes in a week"."Well", said the second little boy, "I'm so tough, I can w... read more..

12 Feb

Barb's Mantle

Barbara Sanders

4022

After My Heart

Valentine Day is upon us again . I reflect back to the time when my husband and I were dating. We started dating in March, so we missed that year's Valentine Day. And, when the next year's Valentine D... read more..

12 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2803

Work Show and Tell

Stopping to pick up my daughter at kindergarten, I found out that the topic of show and tell that day had been parents' occupations. The teacher pulled me aside. Whispering, she advised, "You might ... read more..

You Light Up My Life...or Don?t Darken my Door!?!

11 Feb

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

3772

You Light Up My Life...or Don?t Darken my Door!?!

The title says it all--it's either all or nothing for the Valentine lovers or ex-lovers preparing to celebrate - or un-celebrate Valentine's Day on its way to the USA. You either catch the fever and k... read more..

11 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3048

Country Tunes

My wife and I were browsing in a crafts store when I noticed a display of country-style musical instruments. After looking over the flutes, dulcimers and recorders, I picked up a shiny, one-stringed ... read more..

10 Feb

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

4360

A Little Imagination

What do you imagine? A better job, a better house, more money, perhaps a vacation in the South Pacific? We all let our imagination run away with us from time to time. Some of our greatest inventions a... read more..

10 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

13645

Jericho Walls

The new pastor decided to visit the children's Sunday school. The teacher introduced him and said, "Pastor, this morning we're studying Joshua.""That's wonderful," said the new pastor, "let's see wha... read more..

08 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4974

Waking Up Mad

One day a man took the train from Paris to Frankfurt. When he got in he said to the ticket man: "Sir. I really need you to do me a favor, I have to get out of this train in Mannheim, but I... read more..

08 Feb

Guest Authors

Pastor Tim

4774

My Cloud of Witnesses

One of my heroes is someone I've never met. Perhaps you've heard of her--Gladys Aylward. Her story has been told in a popular biography, a film starring Ingrid Bergman, and a BBC "This Is Your Life" f... read more..

08 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2768

Sermon Sub

A minister was called away unexpectedly by the illness of a close family member. He entrusted his new assistant with filling the pulpit. The Pastor's wife stayed home. When he returned, the ministe... read more..

07 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5883

Cake Baking for Mom's of Small Children

Cake Baking for Mom's of Small Children Preheat oven, get out utensils and ingredients. Remove blocks and toy cars from table. Grease pan, crack nuts. Measure two cups flour. Remove b... read more..

07 Feb

Dr. Harold McNabb

4119

Rockin? Goliath

We all know the story of David and Goliath, and even if we don't know the real story, we have same version of it that most folks do. David vs. Goliath has become a by-word, symbolic of a one... read more..

07 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3159

Unbreakable

If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:https://www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-gooberA man walks into a glass shop, interested in buying an expens... read more..

06 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

7571

Diary of A House Husband

"Diary of A House Husband" This week I am at home & playing house husband. My wife left a list of things I need to do. This is soooooo easy I thought I would share it with you. 1).&n read more..

06 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3392

School Curlers

ONE MORNING I was called to pick up my son at the school nurse's office. When I walked through the main entrance, I noticed a woman, curlers in her hair, wearing pajamas. "Why are you dressed like t... read more..

05 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4378

Because I Am A Guy

Because I am A Guy... ..I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I'll miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was able... read more..

05 Feb

Peggie's Den

Peggie Bohanon

3114

Time And Space

Now I'm not a rocket scientist and have no clue to the inner workings of science--I leave that to my husband, an organic chemistry professor--who can have your brain spinning as he lectures on the eno... read more..

05 Feb

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2867

Fried Eggs

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.Suddenly her husband burst into the kitchen.” Careful .. CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh Good Grief! You're cooking too many at onc... read more..

05 Feb

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

4164

A Faux Pas Is A Mistake In A Tuxedo

Everyone who is anybody has a hobby or at least entertains the idea. Hobbies range from sports to crafts to reading and even traveling. Some hobbies don't make sense to me like collecting dead insects... read more..