Monthly Archive

July 2011

Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 1852 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2379

Feeding

"Mom," said the little girl, "Is it alright to say you are going to water the horse when you are giving him a drink of water?""Yes," said her mother, "that is the correct thing to say.""Well then, I'm read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2248

Fight

A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2850

Fine Furniture

As the woman was instructing the new maid on the great care required in handling certain valuable household objects. She pointed to the dining room and said with great satisfaction, "That table goes b... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3973

Firefly

A mother firefly and her brood were out for a walk. 'Whatever happens,' mom ordered, 'don't shine your light. I don't want you eaten by owls.'Sure enough, after a little while, she spotted the younges... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
5104

Firewood Pun

There was this nun named Sister Mary who, though she tried and tried, could never please the Mother Superior. One day she comes up with an idea: since the abbey was always cold, she decided to cut som... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1928

Fish Pun

Q. What does a fish with out an eye look like?A. Fsh... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2329

Fish Tank

Two fish are in a tank.One says to the other, "I'll man the guns, you drive."... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1892

Fisherman Books

WATERWAYS OF THE WORLD by Sue S. CanalA FISH STORY by Czar DeanCAUGHT IN THE FLOOD by Noah ZarkLITTLE FISHES by Anne Chovey... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2612

Fishing Pun 1

Jim had an awful day fishing, sitting on the lake all day without a single bite. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four catfish. He told the fish salesman, "Pick out the four... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2150

Fishing Pun 2

Ernie had an awful day fishing, sitting on the lake all day without a single bite. On his way home, he stopped at the supermarket and ordered four walleye. He told the fish salesman, "Pick out the fou... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2097

Flat Cat

Mr. Frobisher walked anxiously to the house and knocked. When a nice old lady answered, he said very sad, “I’m sorry, madam, but I have some bad news. “I’m afraid I have run over your cat. I… I would ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
6779

Flea

Pet Store: "Buy one, get one flea."... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2283

Flies

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2243

Floor Boards

Did you hear about the Broadway actor who broke through the floor boards?He was just going through a stage.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2590

Florist Problem

Some monks were running low on funds, but didn't want to close up their monastery. After much consideration, they decided to start selling the flowers they grew. Soon after opening up shop, business b... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1945

Flu Differences

What's the difference between Bird 'Flu and Swine 'Flu?For one you need Tweetment and for the other Oinkment.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3795

Flying Pun

What's the purpose of the airplane propeller? To keep the pilot cool.-If you don't think so, just let it stop and watch him sweat!... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2744

Folk Song Pun

My Uncle Jim did not appear to be much for words. Nor, was he ever seen to have friends or pets. We thought he was the primordial loner, until one time we caught him with his ant farm.He loved the c... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2025

Food Pun 1

The sandwich dates back to the time man discovered he could not live by bread alone.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
4485

Food Pun 2

Q: How can you use a lighthouse, rose trellis, windstorm, dune, and Halloween costume to create something tasty? A: Make a beacon, lattice, and tornado sand witch.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1861

Free or Not Free

The Fourth of July was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. "We live in a great country," she said. "One of the things we should be happy ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3249

Freedom

Memorial Day weekend was coming up, and the nursery school teacher took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. "We live in a great country," she said. "One of the things we should be hap... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
14102

Frisbee Pun

The other day I was standing in the park wondering why Frisbees get bigger and bigger the closer they get.Then it hit me.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2709

Frisbees

The other day I was standing in the park wondering why Frisbees get bigger and bigger the closer they get.Then it hit me.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2233

Frog Pun

Frogs have it easy; they can eat what bugs them.... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2001

Funeral Expenses

A woman's husband died. He had $20,000 to his name. After paying all the funeral expenses, she told her closest friend that there was no money left. The friend asked, "How can that be? You told me he ... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1983

Game Hunt

They have a game hunt each year at the Kennedy compound in Massachusetts. They call it "Hyena sport."~Gary Hallock... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2049

Garden Theft

"Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking." read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3456

Garnish Pun

Today's Cleanpun is actually a report to you all on a recent MSN Chat conversation I had with a CleanPun member Texas.It was a delightful chat - especially when I learned the his name was not only who... read more..

Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2509

Gasr

Saudi Arabia offered to help lower gasoline prices Sunday. It's just in time for the holiday. Americans are about to celebrate Gasover, when an angel stops by the door of every SUV and collects the fi... read more..