July 2011 - Monthly Archive - Results from #1290

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1569

One-liner #0631

My inferiority complex is not as good as yours.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1423

One-liner #0632

Never use a humongous word where a diminutive one will suffice.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1417

One-liner #0633

Nina was at the Motor Vehicle Bureau applying for a driver's license filling out the forms. When she came to the line "Color of Hair," she put, "L'oreal Preference 8 1/2B."... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1486

One-liner #0634

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1454

One-liner #0635

Nothing is impossible for the person who doesn't have to do it.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1479

One-liner #0636

On a scale of 1 to 10, 4 is about 7.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1481

One-liner #0637

On the wall of a Baltimore Estate:Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law - Sisters of Mercy.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1569

One-liner #0638

Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1507

One-liner #0639

Politicians: People who, when they see the light at the end of the tunnel, order more tunnel.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1513

One-liner #0640

Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1538

One-liner #0641

Research has determined that the shelf life of fruitcake is longer than the shelf.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1496

One-liner #0642

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.~ Victor Borge... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1502

One-liner #0643

Stupidity is like nuclear power: it can be used for good or evil - but you still don't want to get any on you.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1624

One-liner #0644

The "problem" with today's society, is that; (no one) knows how, to punctuate correctly, anymore?... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1496

One-liner #0645

The colder the X-ray table the more of you has to be on it.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1496

One-liner #0646

The first line of the notice said, "Please Take Notice," so I took it.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1451

One-liner #0647

The meeting of the clairvoyant society has been cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1635

One-liner #0648

The proper response to Good morning, is not Prove it!... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1511

One-liner #0649

The real reason Grandparents and Grandkids get along with each other so well is that they both have a common nemesis.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1571

One-liner #0650

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail and not his tongue.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1553

One-liner #0651

The reason lightning doesn't strike twice in the same place is that the same place isn't there the second time.- Willie Tyler... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1568

One-liner #0652

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1568

One-liner #0653

The trouble with life is there's no background music.... read more..

29 Jul

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1552

One-liner #0654

The word "aerobics" was invented when the gym instructors got together and said: "If we're going to charge $20 an hour, we can't call it Jumping Up and Down."... read more..