Monthly Archive

July 2011
Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of 1839 of our articles broken down into Months and Years.

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1634

Lust, Sin, Perception

A Priest at a Church picnic was staring at a member of his parish wearing the tiniest of bikinis.A Nun walked over and said, "Shame on you Father, staring at that woman like that!"The Priest replied, ... read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1567

Mistakes, Repentence, Direction

A police officer pulls over an eighty-six-year-old woman because her hand signals were confusing. "First you put your hand up, like you're turning right, then you wave your hand up and down, then you... read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1757

Offering and Sacrifice

A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala charity event was taking place. Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make an offering"Great idea!... read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1569

Sin

A patient, while recovering in the hospital from a heart attack, met this over-zealous evangelist. After listening politely for over a half-hour on how thankful he should be to have been spared, and h... read more..

Long Weekends, Salvation, Today is the Day

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1480

Long Weekends, Salvation, Today is the Day

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front of the service station. Fin... read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1514

Education, Motivation

A mathematics teacher came into the faculty room after she'd been watching a basketball game. Her face was glowing. "I've got the greatest idea for teaching!" she exclaimed."What do you mean? What'... read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1555

Evidence

A man was stopped by a game warden in Northern Minnesota recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch tho... read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1587

Twins

A friend and I were shopping for dresses for her three-year-old girls to wear to a wedding. In the store, another girl staring intently at Sarah and Becky asked, "Are those girls twins?""Actually they... read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1566

Do You Think I'll Find…?

A four-year-old was at the pediatrician for a check up. As the doctor looked in her ears, he asked, "Do you think I'll find Big Bird in here?" The little girl stayed silent. Next, the doctor took a to... read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1597

Slow Down Therapy - Part 3

26. Take a day off alone; make a retreat. You can learn from monks and hermits without becoming one. 27. Pet a furry friend. You will give and get the gift of now. 28. Work with your hands. It frees t... read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1502

Guide To Work Responses

1) If it rings, put it on hold. 2) If it clanks, call the repairman. 3) If it whistles, ignore it. 4) If it's a friend, take a break. 5) If it's the boss, look busy. 6) If it talks, take notes. read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1655

Top Ten Employee Rules

1) If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. 2) If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights. 3) Experience is something you don't get until just after read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1522

Adolescence

*Adolescence***Nowadays our youngsters are acting as if adolescence is the last fling at life instead of the introduction to it.**Some philosopher said that adolescence is the best substitute ever inv read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1647

Daily Living Garden

** FOR THE GARDEN OF YOUR DAILY LIVING **PLANT THREE ROWS OF PEAS: 1. Peace of mind 2. Peace of heart 3. Peace of soul PLANT FOUR ROWS OF SQUASH: 1. Squash gossip 2. Squash indifference 3. Squash grum read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1454

Trials, Pain, Suffering, Annoyances

"UNDER OUR SKIN!"There once was an oyster, whose story I tell;Who found that some sand, had gotten into his shell.It was only a grain, but it gave him great pain;For oysters have feelings, although th read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1500

Skills Worth Mentioning

"So tell me, Mrs. Smith," asked the interviewer, "have you any other skills you think might be worth mentioning?" "Actually, yes," said the applicant modestly. "Last year I had two short stories publ read more..

29 Jul

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1654

Peace on Earth

"Peace doesn't start at a mideast table but in a mideast stable" is the sign on our church front sign. 26,000 cars drive by daily.- Pastor Roger Barcus read more..

28 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3169

Thesaurus Collision

Two trucks loaded with a thousand copies of Roget's Thesaurus collided as they left a New York publishing house last Thursday, according to the Associated Press. Witnesses were stunned, startled, agh... read more..

28 Jul

Cartoons

Jeff Larson

9301

Bird Offerings Cartoon

There's Plenty More "The Back Pew" cartoons athttp://www.thebackpew.com read more..

27 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3429

Food, Family and Philosophy

Gary is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father explains, "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, ... read more..

27 Jul

Funny Dog Pictures

Pastor Tim

9118

Dog Trick or Treat

Church members were shocked to see the pastor's dogs trick or treating. ... read more..

27 Jul

Funny Dog Pictures

Pastor Tim

7662

Elvis Puppy

You ain't nothin' but a hounddog. Thank you, thank you very much. ... read more..

27 Jul

Funny Dog Pictures

Pastor Tim

7596

Dog Obedience

It's always hard to watch the pups head off to obedience school for the first time. ... read more..

26 Jul

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3314

In Both Ears

"It's no good, sir," said the hopeless pupil to his English teacher. "I try to learn, but everything you say goes in both ears and out the other." "Goes in both ears and out the other?" asked the puz read more..