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July 2011
Welcome to our Archives page. On this page you will find a total of
1870
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Pastor Tim (1863)
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Search
29 Jul
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1991
Recipe Pun
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
...
read more..
29 Jul
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
3256
Record Pun
Having been raised on CD's, I asked my hippie uncle how records were in the old days. He said, "Groovy."
...
read more..
29 Jul
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2559
Record Store Pun
A woman meant to call a record store but dialed the wrong number and got a private home instead. "Do you have 'Eyes of Blue' and 'A Love Supreme'?" she asked."Well, no," answered the puzzled homeowne
...
read more..
29 Jul
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
4519
Recruiting Pun
The chief of staff of the Air Force decided that he would personally intervene in a recruiting crisis affecting all of our armed services. So he directed that a nearby Air Force base be opened and th
...
read more..
29 Jul
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
5332
Refrigerator
A man opens his refrigerator, and the mayonnaise yells, "Close the door! I'm dressing!"
...
read more..
29 Jul
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1823
Reindeer Answer
The game show contestant was only 200 points behind the leader and about to answer the final question - worth 500 points!"To be today's champion," the show's smiling host intoned, "name two of Santa's
...
read more..
29 Jul
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2330
Reindeer Problem
(This is an absolutely aweful pun - included here only because I know some of you sick pun lovers need your fix of torturing co-workers with it all day.)As you know, it is very important for Santa and
read more..
29 Jul
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
5939
Reindeer Pun
It was the night before Christmas when Santa Claus' sleigh team became one member short because of a sudden illness.When an inflatable plastic reindeer was used to fill the void in the team, so no one
...
read more..
29 Jul
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2004
Relocation
Village Dry Cleaners has relocated to High Street, right next door to St. Joseph's Church.After March 1, Cleanliness Is Next to Godliness.
...
read more..
29 Jul
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2090
Remuss Starr
An amateur genealogical researcher discovered that his great-great uncle, Remus Starr, a fellow lacking in character, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889. The only known
...
read more..
29 Jul
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2013
Research
"Those who research and write about diseases could become ill-literate."
read more..
29 Jul
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2071
Resignation Letter
Asked why she was leaving her position, a secretary explained in her letter of resignation: "Dear Boss, My reason for leaving will soon be apparent - and so will I. Signed: Mary."
...
read more..
29 Jul
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1920
Restaurant Chain
Did you hear about the new restaurant chain opening nationwide? It is a partnership between Kareem Abdul Jabarr, Ryan Coffee, and Sugar Ray Leonard.They're going to call it: "Coffee, with Kareem and S
...
read more..
29 Jul
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1840
Restaurant Excitement
I was having dinner at a nice restaurant the other night. The couple at the next table were smooching from the moment they sat down. Oh how romantic, young love! But I couldn't figure out what was goi
...
read more..
29 Jul
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2967
Restaurant Pun
I went into a French restaurant and asked the waiter, "Have you got frog'slegs?"He said, "Yes."So I said, "Well hop into the kitchen and get me a cheese sandwich."
...
read more..
29 Jul
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1920
Restaurants
"As the chef in the restaurant knows,The beluga is old, and it shows.For a food that's a tempter,It's caviar emptor:Beware of those secondhand roes!"- Chris Doyle
read more..
29 Jul
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1892
Returned Glasses
A woman walks in a store to return a pair of eyeglasses that she had purchased for her husband a week before. "What seems to be the problem, madam?""I'm returning these glasses I bought for my husband
...
read more..
29 Jul
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
15820
Rice Pun
A young woman really thought she'd been very patient, through a protracted period of dating with no talk of marriage. One night her steady boyfriend took her to a Chinese restaurant.As he perused the
...
read more..
29 Jul
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2390
Richard
Years ago there was a baker's assistant whose sole job was to pour the dough mixture for making sausage rolls (apparently the royal family loved sausage). Because people were identified by their profe
...
read more..
29 Jul
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2237
Right Pun
He's a forthright character: Right about a forth of the time.
...
read more..
29 Jul
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
7410
Robbery Pun
Once some burglars broke out in the bank, one of them pointing the gun to the cashier said, "Give me all your money, or you'll be GEOGRAPHY!" The cashier laughed and said, "You mean to say HISTORY." T
...
read more..
29 Jul
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
11131
Robin Hood Pun
Robin Hood and his merry men were in Sherwood Forest one night celebrating, and imbibing. They all became inebriated. And then Friar Tuck began to sing. He became louder with each drink.Robin Hood,
...
read more..
29 Jul
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2026
Rock and Roll
With all the borscht they consume, I don't understand why Russians aren't the world's greatest rock stars. I mean, everyone knows that the heart of rock and roll is the beet.
...
read more..
29 Jul
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
12165
Rock and Roll Pun
With all the borscht they consume, I don't understand why Russians aren't the world's greatest rock stars.I mean, everyone knows that the heart of rock and roll is the beet.
...
read more..
29 Jul
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2642
Rock and Roll Re-Releases
Everybody is remaking their oldies hits! - Herman's Hermits - "Mrs. Brown, You've Got A Lovely Walker" - The Bee Gees - "How Can You Mend A Broken Hip" - The Temptations - "Papa's Got A Kidney Stone"
...
read more..
29 Jul
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2243
Rock Star Finder
The best way to find a screeching rock star is with a Heavy Metal Detector.
...
read more..
29 Jul
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
1971
Rock Store
A rock store was closed by the police.They were taking too much for granite.
...
read more..
29 Jul
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
18245
Rodeo Pun
A young cowboy asked his father, "Do you think I can make a good living riding wild horses in a rodeo?"His dad replied, "You should get a couple of bucks out of it."
...
read more..
29 Jul
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2951
Rolex and Timex
A girl was visiting her friend who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.The friend responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.Her friend said, "Whoe
...
read more..
29 Jul
Clean Puns
Pastor Tim
2113
Room Question
My friend Judy was working at a Maine costal resort when she answered a call for information about the inn. After finishing the conversation, Judy stepped away from the desk. When the phone rang again
...
read more..
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