July 2011 - Monthly Archive - Results from #60

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2012

Depunable

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, and dry cleaners depressed?Laundry workers ... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

13374

Detective Pun

A detective who spent his entire career in plain clothes quit the police force and bought a farm."What kind of crops do you plan to grow?" the police chief asked the farmer-to-be."Carrots and potatoes... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2252

Diagnosis Pun 1

A psychiatrist is doing rounds in his hospital with a couple of students.They look in on one patient and the psychiatrist says to his students, "Sometimes this fellow thinks he's a temptress in a Bize... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2551

Diagnosis Pun 2

A man walks into the psychiatrist's office and says, "Doc, you gotta help me, I keep having this recurring feeling that I'm going to shrink! What can I do?"The doctor replied, "Now, calm down, you ju... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2473

Diet

There's a new pasta diet -Just walk pasta bakery without stopping, walk pasta candy store without stopping, walk pasta ice cream store without stopping.... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2089

Dieting Pun

"Dieters: people that are thick and tired of it." read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1678

Doctor Behavior

A new nurse at a hospital was perplexed by Dr.Mike Wilson’s behavior. Off and on throughout her shift Dr. Wilson would run up and down the hallway, yelling, "Tetanus, measles, flu..............”" Very... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1877

Doctor Pun 1

When a panel of doctors were asked to vote on adding a new wing to their hospital, the allergists voted to scratch it and the dermatologists preferred no rash moves. The gastro-enterologists had a gu... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1842

Doctor Pun 2

There was this city doctor who started a practice in the countryside. He once had to go to a farm to attend to a sick farmer who lived there. After a few house calls he stopped coming to the farm.Th... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1861

Doctor's Orders

"You're going out to play golf again?" Dewey’s wife complained. "I'm only doing under doctors orders." "Do I look stupid to you?!" "But it’s true," he said, while walking out the door. "Dr. Wilson tol read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2470

Dog Dance Lessons

This guy decides he wants his dog to be able to dance, so he enrolls the pet in dance classes. Dutifully, he takes this dog to class every week, but he sees no improvement. Finally, he takes the instr... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2454

Dog Names

"The Dalmatian's called Jerry, but the Afghanistan."- Jeff Foxworthy read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1996

Dog Pride

My eccentric neighbor proudly showed me what appeared to be a dog. "It's unique," he explained, "part dog and part bull and it cost me a thousand.""Which part is bull?" I asked.He replied, "The part a... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1931

Dog Pun

"If your mutt is always growling angrily, it must be because he's a cross breed." read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2557

Don't Waste Words

Larry was tall and laconic so, of course, he hated to waste words."Why use two? One will do," he was frequently heard to ask. People giving him simple conversation were likely to hear, "Too much, to... read more..

Have you heard about the pharmaceutical company that developed a new drug which, when administered to women, compels them to go join a convent?The FDA refused to license it. Seems it was habit formin... read more..

29 Jul

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1967

E-mail Warning

If you receive an email from the Department of Health telling you not to eat canned pork because of swine flu ignore it. It's just Spam.... read more..