October 2008 - Monthly Archive

31 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4586

Committee Praise

The new pastor was winding down the service. In the back of the church, the fellowship committee stood to go to the church hall and prepare snacks for the congregation. Seeing them rise, Pastor Mike, ... read more..

30 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4864

Computer One-liners - Part 3

Computer One-liners - Part 3Programming Department: Mistakes made while you wait.Programming is an art form that fights back.RAM disk is not an installation procedure.Real programs don't eat cache.Rem... read more..

27 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4512

Sick Call

Mr. Frobisher constantly called Dr. Wilson at all hours of the day and night and would then keep him on the phone with a litany of imagined ailments. Finally the doctor could take it no longer. "Lis... read more..

27 Oct

Misc

Paul Wayne Foltz DD

3283

Rough Times are Coming....

Not only is a financial crisis looming over our Country, but times of persecution are coming for Christians. If the fairness doctrine is reinstated all christian programs will be removed from the TV, ... read more..

20 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4732

Computer One-liners - Part 2

Computer One-liners - Part 2ISDN: I Still Don't kNowISDN: Idiot Services you Don't NeedIt said, "Insert disk #3," but only two will fit!Klingon prompt: strike any user when ready.Manual Writer's Creed... read more..

19 Oct

Sermons

Pastor Tim

2498

Safe Asleep

Jesus is taking care of - and will take care of - those who trust in Him and die before He comes again. {audio}podcast/sm20081019.mp3{/audio}... read more..

Finding Longitude and Latitude on Google Maps

16 Oct

Totally Tim

Pastor Tim

4327

Finding Longitude and Latitude on Google Maps

GoogleMaps is great for looking up the location of places, but if you want to know the longitude and latitude of the place you are looking for, there is no obvious way to gather that info. However, t... read more..

16 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5107

Politcal Quotes

"I resent your insinuendoes." "If we don't make some changes, the status quo will remain the same." "We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world." "If Lincoln were alive today, read more..

14 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4497

Pants Dilemma

A young man came home from the office and found his bride sobbing convulsively. "I feel terrible," she told him. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers.""Forget... read more..

13 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5290

Late Arrival

A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells "You should have been here at 8:30!"He replies: "Why? What happened at 8:30?"... read more..

12 Oct

Thanksgiving

Pastor Tim

2962

Be Thankful for Little

When you have little to be thankful for, be thankful for little. Listen Online: {audio}podcast/sm20081012.mp3{/audio}... read more..

11 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4658

Cake Question

While working at Baskin-Robbins, I helped a woman, who was full of questions about the flavors and types available, pick out an ice-cream cake.As I was boxing it up for her, she had one last question:... read more..

10 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

13522

Computer One-liners - Part 1

Computer One-liners - Part 1Hard Disk space: the final frontier!Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?H lp! S m b d st l ll th v w ls fr m m k yb ... read more..

08 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5359

Mr. Scwartz

Mr. Schwartz was the oldest of 7 children, so he had to quit school and work to help support his younger brothers and sisters. He never learned to read, so when he married and started a checking accou... read more..

06 Oct

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

5370

This Little Piggy-Bank Went to Market

In our house, we have a saying. "A penny saved is a borderline miracle." Like most people, we find it very difficult to save when it comes to money. We have in the dark recesses of our back bedroom cl... read more..

05 Oct

Sermons

Pastor Tim

2587

Press On

Keep pressing on with the things God has made you good at. {audio}podcast/sm20081005.mp3{/audio} ... read more..

03 Oct

Shirley Choat

1462

Good SeptemberMorning 9-26-08

"If you love them which love you, what reward have you? Do not even the publicans the same?" The test of love is not in loving our friends as that would b read more..

03 Oct

Shirley Choat

1491

Good September Morning 28-08

TWENTIETH SUNDAY AFTER PENTECOST This is the day the LORD hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it. Isa. 5:1-7 also Num. 27:12-23 Phil. 3:12-21 Matthew 21:33-43 Psalm 81:1-10 &nbs... read more..

03 Oct

Shirley Choat

1439

Good September Morning 9-27-08

"Are not Abana and Pharpar, rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? May I not wash in them and be clean?" 2 Kings 5:12 Naaman, the Syria read more..

03 Oct

Shirley Choat

1437

Good September Morning 9-29-08

"What thinkest Thou? Is it lawful to give tribute to Caesar or not? Matthew 22:15-22 The Pharisees hated Jesus because His teaching of forgiveness by grace was read more..

03 Oct

Shirley Choat

1491

Good September Morning 9-30-08

"How can a man be born when he is old?" John 3:1-17 Nicodemus was one of the few Pharisees to be attracted by Jesus' teachings and miracles. During an ear read more..

03 Oct

Shirley Choat

1584

Good Oct. Morning 10-1-08

"What manner of Man is this, that even the wind and the sea obey Him?" Mark 4:35-41 Jesus and His disciples were in a small boat on the Sea of Galilee, and it was night. A read more..

03 Oct

Shirley Choat

1615

Good Oct. Morning 10-2-08

"LORD, how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Till seven times?" Matthew 18:21-35 It may be that the Apostle Peter had been read more..

03 Oct

Shirley Choat

1571

Good Oct. Morning 10-3-08

"Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?" Isaiah 6:8 God has given His children various commands, such as "Go, and teach all nations," Preach read more..

03 Oct

Shirley Choat

1602

Good Oct. Morning 10-4-08

"What has thou that thou did not receive? Now, if thou did receive it, why does thou glory as if thou had not received it?" 1 Cor. 4:7 This is a great ver read more..

02 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

5786

Government Pipe Specifications

1. All pipe is to be made of a long hole, surrounded by metal or plastic centered around the hole.2. All pipe is to be hollow throughout the entire length - do not use holes of different length than read more..

01 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

6055

Family Dinner

Family dinner was an enjoyable weekly ritual for us. Although my Mother was in her late 80's she certainly still had the ability to clearly say what was on her mind.This was the first dinner on my sis... read more..

01 Oct

Misc

Teresa hauber

2930

Loving the fall ...

It is so nice to have the summer behind us..The only thing I miss is going out to the pool for a few minutes in the afternoon.Brrr,,,tried it once but man it is tooo cold..I have been so busy lately w... read more..