December 2016 - Monthly Archive

You Know It's The New Year Again When ...

31 Dec

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

9223

You Know It's The New Year Again When ...

It has been a quiet week in the parsonage, notwithstanding the lack of cooperation from Mr. Weatherman. As the thermometer dipped, I ducked inside and sought the warmth of my easy chair. Since coming... read more..

31 Dec

Quotes

Pastor Tim

1552

Quote #1601

"The heaven of heavens cannot contain Him, and yet He condescends to find a house within our hearts!" - C. H. Spurgeon read more..

31 Dec

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1340

One-liner #1153

"I have CDO; it's like OCD but all the letters are in alphabetical order ... as they should be." read more..

30 Dec

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1577

Winter Twilight

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite... read more..

29 Dec

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

9498

Attainable New Year's Resolutions

This year, I resolve to... - Gain weight; at least 30 pounds. - Stop exercising; waste of time. - Read less; makes you think. - Watch more TV; I've been missing some good stuff. - Procrastinate m... read more..

29 Dec

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

2546

Another Christmas up the Chimney

It hardly seems possible that another Christmas has come and gone. I think it comes quicker than it goes, but then that is just my opinion. We were sitting for the last time around the Christmas tree... read more..

29 Dec

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

951

Cybersalt News - December 29, 2016

Oh look, Chicken Thursday! With a new year ahead, Rev. James Snyder is looking forward with a keen appreciation of the memories - and a promise - from the past. You can read "Another Christmas up the... read more..

28 Dec

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

1678

Roman Numeral Amnesia

I can't remember what 51, 6 and 500 are in Roman numerals. I'm LIVID.... read more..

28 Dec

Quotes

Pastor Tim

2371

Quote #1600

"I do not understand the mystery of grace; only that it meets us where we are and doesn't leave us where it found us." - Anne Lamott read more..

28 Dec

Pearly Gates Jokes

Pastor Tim

3094

Jury Bribe

Murphy, a dishonest lawyer, bribed a man on his client's jury to hold out for a charge of manslaughter, as opposed to the charge of murder which was brought by the state. The jury was out for several... read more..

28 Dec

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1506

One-liner #1152

They should make an alarm clock that sounds like a cat getting ready to vomit; NOTHING makes you jump out of bed faster!... read more..

You Know You Overdid Christmas Dinner When

28 Dec

Christmas Jokes

Pastor Tim

4373

You Know You Overdid Christmas Dinner When

You Know You Overdid Christmas Dinner When . . . - Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the EZ-Boy. - The "Gravy Boat" your wife set out was a real 12' boat! - You receive a Sumo ... read more..

25 Dec

Christmas

Pastor Tim

1247

Be A Christmas Martyr

When we understand what the word "martyr" really means, we'll understand we are called to be one at Christmastime and throughout the year. (with apologies for the sound quality of this recording!) read more..

25 Dec

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1039

Cybersalt News - December 25, 2016

Sunday greetings and Merry Christmas everyone! Susan and I pray that the peace and light of Jesus rests upon and shine within your heart today. Mrs. Cybersalt finished our Christmas letter a few day... read more..

23 Dec

Christmas Jokes

Pastor Tim

5702

Christmas Explained

The other night, three-year-old Billy was showing the Terracotta nativity scene in his living room to his stuffed dragon. "This is an activity scene," he said to the dragon. "It's when they put brea... read more..

23 Dec

Quotes

Pastor Tim

4441

Quote #1599

"For unto us a child is born, unto us a Son is given; and the government will be upon His shoulder. And His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace." read more..

23 Dec

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

6089

More Christmas Puns

Some of you on this list will actually enjoy these - proof once again of the need for more therapists in the world, lol. What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?It's Christmas, Eve! What does ... read more..

23 Dec

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1553

One-liner #1151

Mary glared at me Pa rumpa pum pum, Me and my drum.... read more..

23 Dec

Illustrations

Pastor Tim

1622

The Gift of the Magi

God is not served by human hands as though he needed anything (Acts 17:25). The gifts of the magi are not given by way of assistance or need-meeting. It would dishonor a monarch if foreign visitors ca... read more..

22 Dec

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

1012

Cybersalt News - December 22, 2016

Oh look, Chicken Thursday - the last one before Christmas! Yesterday was the shortest day of the year for us Northern Hemispherical types. It's a fitting reminder that Christmas can be a very d... read more..

21 Dec

Funny Christmas Pictures

Pastor Tim

2809

Christmas Sniper

That's when Eleanor spotted the sniper. ... read more..

21 Dec

Quotes

Pastor Tim

1534

Quote #1598

"Watch, O Lord, with those who wake, or watch, or weep tonight." - St. Augustine read more..

21 Dec

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

61255

Christmas Puns

Some of these are horrible. Enjoy! What do they call Santa's helpers?Subordinate Clauses What do you call Santa Clause after he's fallen into a fireplace?Krisp Kringle Who sings "Love Me Tender" an... read more..

21 Dec

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1562

One-liner #1150

Did you know, chocolate makes your clothes shrink!?... read more..

21 Dec

Christmas Jokes

Pastor Tim

4472

Practical Tricks to Play on Santa

1. Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad and a note explaining that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds. 2. While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding tic read more..

18 Dec

God's Penman

Rev. James L. Snyder

6163

‘Twas the night before Christmas...

Every family has those traditions and days that help define their family. I personally know some families (although I shall not divulge any names unless there is enough cash present) that are adequate... read more..

18 Dec

Cybersalt News

Pastor Tim

962

Cybersalt News - December 18, 2016

Sunday greetings everyone. What do you buy for the woman who already has the greatest gift? Rev. James Snyder is not the only man to struggle with that question. You can read about his quest in "'Twa... read more..

17 Dec

Clean Puns

Pastor Tim

2491

Christmas Pizza

What is King Wenceslas' favorite pizza? One that's deep pan, crisp, and even.... read more..

17 Dec

Christmas Jokes

Pastor Tim

8889

Fractured Christmas Carols

No one can fracture a Christmas carol better than a kid. Sing along with these new takes on old favorites: * Deck the Halls with Buddy Holly * We three kings of porridge and tar * On the first ... read more..

17 Dec

One-liners

Pastor Tim

1374

One-liner #1149

Regarding "Eternal Truths:" No two things are the same, no matter how you look at them.... read more..