"Computer Customer Quotes" or "Why goobers shouldn't own computers!"

• Customer: "I have Microword Soft."
• Customer: "Microwave Windows?"
• Customer: "Will this upgrade include Microwave 97?"
• Customer: (Referring to Microsoft Defrag.) "I ran Microwave Defrost, but it didn't help."
• Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."
• Customer: "I have Microscope Exploiter."
• Customer: "I have Netscape Complicator."
• Customer: "I have Netscape Regulator."
• Customer: "Uhh...I have Newscape and Outlook Exposure."
• Customer: "I use Outlook Explorer."
• Customer: "I have a US Robotics Sportscaster modem."
• Customer: "It's not my computer that is slow. I have a 200 horse power harddrive."