I figured out why they call our language the "Mother Tongue." Fathers never get a chance to use much of it.

Say what you will about healthy eating and all, but I've always found it awfully difficult to explain to my son (who's 6'4" to my 6' in height), why junk food is bad for you.

One time my kids wanted to surprise me with a good breakfast in bed on Father's Day.  They put a cot in the kitchen.

If you think about it, Adam had more trouble than any of the rest of us buying his Father a gift for Father's Day.  I mean, what do you get somebody who's Everything?

I started early teaching my kids the value of a dollar.  From then on, they demanded their allowances in gold.