** If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket then giving Fido only two of them.

** In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog to worship him and a cat to ignore him.

** Outside of a dog, a book is probably man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

** Things that upset a terrier may pass virtually unnoticed by a Great Dane.

** When a man's best friend is his dog, that dog has a problem.

** Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.