"Hello, you have reached an office that thought it was so smart getting all it's employees cordless phones. The person you are trying to reach is here right now, staring at me as I answer this call and searching desperately for their cordless phone in the mess on their desk.

"It won't matter if they find it since they didn't leave it on the charger last night and the battery is dead. So you might as well leave a message with me and I'll have them call you after the 4 hour handset recharge period is completed."