How to keep a healthy level of insanity in the workplace
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1.  Page yourself over the intercom.  (don't disguise your voice)

2.  Ask people to call you "Captain"

3.  Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle.

4.  Put a chair facing the printer, sit there all day and tell people you're waiting for your document.

5.  Arrive at a meeting late, say you're sorry, but you didn't have time for lunch, and you're going to be nibbling during the meeting.  During the meeting eat five entire raw potatoes.

6 Insist that your e-mail address be:
zena_goddess_of_fire@c..."

7.  Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that.

8.  Put your garbage can on your desk.  Label it "IN".

9.  Send e-mail messages saying "free pizza, free donuts in the lunchroom." When people complain that there was none, lean back, pat your stomach, and say, "Oh, you've got to be faster than that."

10.  Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks.  Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.