These cat puns are both horrible and painful! You were warned.

What do you call a cat that has just eaten a whole duck?

- A duck filled fatty puss!

What did the cat do when he swallowed some cheese?

- He waited by the mouse hole with baited breath.

What happened when the cat swallowed a coin?

- There was some money in the kitty.

What do you get if you cross a cat with a canary?

- Shredded tweet!

What do cat actors say in a Shakespearean play?

- Tabby or not tabby! That is the question.

What is the only kind of work a weak cat can do?

- Light mouse work

Why did the mother cat put stamps on her kittens?

- Because she wanted to mail the litter

Where did the kittens go on their class trip?

- To a mewseum (!!!!)

What kind of cars do cats drive?

- Catillacs

What does a cat get from watching too many Mickey Mouse films?

- Disney Spells

Where did the first cats live?

- Purr-sia and Paw-tugal

What do you get if you cross a parakeet with a cat?

- A peeping Tom

Hear about the cat who was a tennis fan?

- He had two brothers in the racket.