Cartoons
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Unless you are part of an arranged marriage, .. DATING is the recognized 'process' of finding Mr or Mrs Right in our culture. I believe the top 5 factors to consider in dating are 1. Looks, 2. sense of humor, 3. personality, 4. family, and 5. money All these and more are reasons we choose to date.. and maybe eventually marry.
We don't look for a future spouse in a singles bar, but more likely at a Church Potluck with pick up lines like.. "If I said you have a Beautiful Spirit would you hold it against me?". Or maybe Mr. Right, or that Woman (or women?) of your dreams you will meet at a Bible Study, Babes in Christ, and Fishers of Men fo-sho. But while we may be more spiritual in the Back Pew, we still find looks are important and support the time honored scale of tenmethod in measuring looks.
The Next important part of dating is The KISS.. While we have all heard about the dangers of kiss and tell, well I would like to say kiss & click is not the proper focus for a tender moment such as a kiss.
So I recommend being a bit coy in that first move.. maybe even bring scripture into your lip offering with the ol' greet each other with a HOLY KISS move. In the end, rest assured she will be drawn to you because you are a manly man! If this fails there is always Christmas where under the power of the MISTLETOE two may be drawn to that first kiss. Of course there is so much more to dating. We have the movies, the popcorn, the romantic picnic dates on sunny summer days, and so much more... but .. I am a cartoonist.. if you want sappy romantic sentiments GET A HALLMARK CARD... but if you want a chuckle at the romance dance we call dating, then THE BACK PEW might be the place to go before you Say I DO, or at least say maybe |
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Fasting Potlucks COFFEE <-- where I keep BIBLE DIETS
ETERNITY DIETS |
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Church.. it does a body good!
Sundays begins by leaving the morning paper behind, load up the family truckster with the FAM.. and begin that Time honored DRIVE to church. You can already sense God's spirit moving.
It is truly the gathering of the saints and the aints and our congregation is more colorful than any box of shiny new crayons.
And just because I am from Minnesota does not mean I don't know what DIVERSITY is. We worship with both Norwegians and Swedes.
My Church is that place to fellowship with friends, without any church club handshake.
We greet visitors with the love of God on our faces in in our hearts and NOT with lofty disapproving glances from any high and mighty illusion of our own righteousness.
We don't claim to be perfect, and though
there are a few wound too tight. with misguided intentions .. We are good folk..
Fellowship is important, and my church is where the Spirit and Coffee both flow, but with the coffee flowing freely, there are risks.
Church is a place to be real because of God's grace.. BUT we sometimes instead choose to hide behind a Churcy Facade and ormask. .. and there are those BOBBLEHEADS.
and it is important to note, my church is in Minnesota and until the state deals with the border problem, they will deal with..
cheeseheads for Jesus in their own way.
My church is a comfortable place where ASLEEP IN CHRIST or as we call them 'Eutychus Moments' describes more than a few in the congregation. For a few cases we have used 'extreme exhortations' to encourage participation for a 90 minute service.
We are also 'blessed' with a few regular attenders that you would have to describe their faith as having a 'glorious absence of sophistication'. Growing up in rural Wisconsin I can relate and embrace what some may title as 'REDNECK' Believers - We don't handle NO SNAKES but that whole dress flannel shirt with a tie look I find appealing attire for Sunday mornings 12 months of the year.. thank you very much.
Along with the above mentioned high-tech 'keep a brother from sleeping' device, I must share we are high tech when it comes to tracking attendance and giving
though some of the bretheren thought using a 'wand' to read bar codes was a bit Harry Potterish commenting this was clearly of the devil..
We are called to be a Holy People, though some are also holey. where not only our faith is contagious, but both our ushers and congregation have shared 'things' besides Jesus.
Our church is a house of Worship. Feel free to lift up holy hands to the Lord, or sit on your ample butt. Music ranges from traditional organ music to body surfing in the moshpit, . We even have a safe place for those of you who are worship impaired.
If you have kids.. we have a ready, and (mostly) willling Kids Ministry staff to love and care for your children so they do not have to sit in the church service with you.
Senior Citizens are welcome.. appreciated, respected, and assisted AGAIN by the wonder of technology.. can you hear me now?.. what?
We are a growing church in more ways than out waistline, and take serious the challenge of Overcrowding and traffic flow by the unconventional crowd control techniques of
Leap Frog, Hell's Angels , and Body Surfing.
We offer Workshops , membership classes, and participate in Church Unity conferences all with the goal of building a better Church body that is LOOKIN' GOOD , well read, enthusiastic, and sensitive to hear A WORD? from God.. or Bob?
There are a number of great Women's Ministry opportunities. The Bible Study is the ENVY of the men, and the MOPS group is a great resource for mothers of preschoolers and NOT to be confused with theMOPSters at that church down the road.
Please realize we will be worshiping and praising God for a full 90 minutes each Sunday and we don't want to be catching any of your mind's wandering, or participating in the age old church clock watching sin.
And finally a statement about church. We appreciate the commitment of those in our church knowing our church is made up of good people and we are a family, BUT just like in every family we do not always get along perfectly, BUT just like a family our love and commitment to each other and the God we serve will not be shaken.
Note: Rest assured though some were pushing for it, there will be NO STONINGSin the Town Square for those caught sleeping in church.
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Letters to Pastor: 1. Dear Pastor.. 2. Halo On Too Tight!! 3. Good Preachers Gone Bad??
PREACH IT (sermonizing) STYLE POINTS DON'T MINCE WORDS PREACHING OUTSIDE THE BOX PASTOR TOUGH GUYS PASTORAL CANDIDATES |
A PIECE OF YOUR MIND Hey Preacher Man.. wannna know what I think? - I want to be a pastor just like you - Hey preacher, try making a point - Hey preacher, I won't be ignored! - Hey preacher, No more hell fire sermons please - Hey preacher, I don't like your wife - Hey preacher, your teeth are YELLOW - Hey preacher, we need a JUMBOTRON - Hey preacher, Is that you? (anesthesiologist) - Voo Doo Dolls? that's not exhortation!
- Geek the Preach, & Geek meets Greek - Adult Bookstore - Typo Newsletter STAFF MEETINGS MONEY MGMT. THEOLOGIES? and finally.. THERE WILL BE A QUIZ |