Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.
Entertainment
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Tired of having to balance his wife Cindy's checkbook, Mike made a deal with her; he would only look at it after she had spent a few hours trying to wrestle it into shape. Only then would he lend his expertise.
The following night, after spending hours poring over stubs and figures, Cindy said proudly, "There! I've done it! I made it balance!"
Impressed, Mike came over to take a look.
"Let's see...mortgage 1550.00, electricity 170.50, phone 85.00."
His brow wrinkled as he read the last entry. "It says here ESP, 615.00. What is that?"
"Oh," she said, "That means, Error Some Place!!!"
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"May I take your order?" the waiter asked.
"Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?"
"Nothing special, sir," he replied.
"We just tell them straight out that they're going to die."
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A man was driving along in his beat up old dodge, when suddenly it broke down. He was parked on the side of the road trying fix it, when a Jaguar pulled up in front of him and offered to help.
After a few minutes the two men obviously weren't going to get the old car going again, so the Jaguar driver offered to tow the Dodge to the nearest garage. A few minutes later the two had hitched up the old Dodge to the Jaguar, and they agreed that if the Jaguar driver was going too fast, the man should blow his horn and flash his lights to get him to slow down. With that the two men got into their cars and the Jaguar driver started to pull away with the Dodge behind it.
At the first traffic light, a Ferrari pulled up beside the Jaguar and started to rev his engine. As soon as the light turned green the Ferrari and the Jaguar hit their accelerators and took off. Before long the cars were racing at over 120 mph.
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