"I do have washboard abs - they just happen to have a little laundry on them at the moment."
"Only 92 of our 100 cows were in the barn so I couldn't begin the milking. We still lacked eight," Tom uttered.
1. You find yourself beginning to like accordion music.
2. You're sitting on a park bench and a Boy Scout comes up and helps you cross your legs.
3. Lawn care has become a big highlight of your life.
4. You tune into the easy listening station...on purpose.
5. You discover that your measurements are now small, medium and large...In that order.
6. You light the candles on your birthday cake and a group of campers form a circle and start singing Kumbaya.
7. You keep repeating yourself.
8. You start video taping daytime game shows.
9. At the airport, they ask to check your bags...and you're not carrying any luggage.
10. You wonder why you waited so long to take up macrame.
11. Your Insurance Company has started sending you their free calendar...a month at a time.
12. At cafeterias, you complain that the gelatin is too tough.
13. Your new easy chair has more options than your car.
14. When you do the "Hokey Pokey" you put your left hip out...and it stays out.
15. One of the throw pillows on your bed is a hot water bottle.
16. Conversations with people your own age often turn into "dueling ailments."
17. You keep repeating yourself.
18. It takes a couple of tries to get over a speed bump.
19. You discover the words, "whippersnapper," "scalawag" and "by-cracky" creeping into your vocabulary.
20. You're on a TV game show and you decide to risk it all and go for the rocker.
21. You begin every other sentence with, "Nowadays..."
22. You run out of breath walking DOWN a flight of stairs.
23. You look both ways before crossing a room.
24. Your social security number only has three digit s.
25. You keep repeating yourself.
26. You come to the conclusion that your worst enemy is gravity.
27. You go to a Garden Party and you're mainly interested in the garden.
28. You find your mouth making promises your body can't keep.
29. The waiter asks how you'd like your steak...and you say "pureed."
30. At parties you attend, "regularity" is considered the topic of choice.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
