A thief broke into my house last night ... he started searching for money so I got up and searched with him.
Okay, you've heard of Murphy's famous Law: Everything that can go wrong will go wrong. Well, there are many other related Laws. Here are some:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
--Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair
Identical parts aren't.
--Beach's Law
Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner.
--Anthony's Law of the Workshop
Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come.
--Tussman's Law
If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
--Lowery's Law
The solution to a problem changes the problem.
--Peer's Law
There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance.
--William's Law
Handy Guide to Modern Science:
1. If it's green or it wiggles, it's Biology.
2. If it stinks, it's Chemistry.
3. If it doesn't work, it's Physics.
Machines should work. People should think.
--IBM's Pollyanna Principle
The most ineffective workers will be systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage - management.
--The Dilbert Principle
The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts.
--Ehrlich's Law
It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry.
--Ralph's Observation
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
--Cannon's Comment
Thinly sliced cabbage.
--Cole's Law
I'm at an age where my mind still thinks I'm 29, my humor suggests I'm 12, while my body mostly keeps asking if I'm sure I'm not dead yet.
An older man is on the operating table awaiting surgery. He has insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation. He is about to receive the anesthesia when he asks to speak to his son.
"Yes, Dad, what is it?"
"Don't be nervous, do your best, and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife."
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
Part-time band leaders are also known as semi-conductors.