Some say fleas are black.
But I know that is not so.
'Cause Mary had a little lamb
With fleas as white as snow.
~ Richard Lederer and James Ertner
7. His first words to the congregation on Sunday morning are "All right, listen up you heathens..."
6. He falls asleep during his own sermon.
5. He shows up for Sunday service wearing Bermuda Shorts and a Tank Top.
4. Every time his smartphone notifications ding, he shouts, "Why can't they just leave me alone?!"
3. Announces baptismal services will be at the Grand Canyon.
2. You go to his office for counseling and pour your heart out to him and he says, "Sounds like a personal problem to me."
AND THE NUMBER ONE SIGN YOUR PASTOR NEEDS A VACATION
1. For the past two months he has preached the same sermon every Sunday.
"I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but he turned out to be an optical Aleutian."
A woman whose fondness for the good life had taken its toll in added pounds - and girth - was being shown a Jeep by a salesman at an auto dealership.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
When I was a kid I wanted to be older ... this is not what I expected.