I was on board the USS Kitty Hawk when we docked in the Sri Lankan capital, Colombo.
One morning, as the local fishing fleet passed by on its way out to sea, a boat came too close to our ship. A Marine held up a sign warning the captain to stay away, and he complied.
But the next day, the boat was back. This time, the fisherman held something. The nervous Marine pointed to his rifle. The fisherman lifted the object and unfurled it, revealing a sign of his own.
In perfect English it read, "Your Sign Is Upside Down."
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1. When ones hands are covered in oil, grease, or glue, your nose will start to itch. (Law of Itchiban)
2. Your insurance will cover everything but what has happened. (Incuranctions So Sorry Law)
3. When things seem easy to do, it's because you haven't followed all the instructions. (Destiny Awaits Law)
4. The cost is always higher than one budgets for, and it's exactly 3.14 times higher, hence the importance of pi. (Law of Pi Eyed)
5. The probability that one will spill food on one's clothes is directly proportional to its need to be clean. (Law of Campbell's Scoop)
6. Each and every body sitting on a commode will cause the doorbell to ring. (Law of Gotta Go!)
7. Wind velocity will increase proportionally to the cost of one's hairdo. (The Hair-Wind Principle)
8. After discarding something not used for years, you will need it one week later. (Law of Irreversibility)
9. Arriving for an appointment will cause the receptionist to be absent, and if one arrives late, everyone else else arrived before you. (Law of De Lay)
10. Do not take life too serious, because in the end, you won't come out alive anyway. (Law of Absolute Certainly)
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A man who had just undergone a very complicated operation kept complaining about a bump on his head and a terrible headache. Since his operation had been an intestinal one, there was no earthly reason why he should be complaining of a headache.
Finally his nurse, fearing that the man might be suffering from some post-operative shock, spoke to the doctor about it.
The doctor assured the nurse, "Don't worry about a thing. He really does have a bump on his head. About halfway through the operation we ran out of anesthetic."
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Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
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The Best Kept Secret Ever!
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
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Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
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Merry Christmas!
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A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
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Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!