While my six-year-old daughter of the space age and I were reviewing some old photographs, we came across a picture of me when I was a captain in the Army Reserves.
"Daddy, were you in a war?"
"Yes," I fibbed, just to see what her reaction would be.
Wide-eyed, she gasped, "Against what planet?"
I had just moved from an apartment to a house in the same small town. One day at the grocery store, I used the last of my personalized checks bearing my old address. The cashier examined the document and asked if everything on it was correct. I assured her that it was, and she started to put the check in the cash drawer. But then she inquired again if everything was accurate.
"Why do you ask?" I responded.
"Because," she replied, "my husband and I moved to this apartment yesterday, and I don't remember seeing you at breakfast."
Here are some pretty hip (some of them replaced I am sure) seniors doing a great lip-dub of Michael Buble's song "Feeling Good."
English is such a tough language to master. There are more exceptions to the rules than rules. It's no wonder there are so many blunders. We hope this creative copy from travel and dining brochures from around the world will put a smile on your face.
Italian hotel brochure:
This hotel is renowned for its peace and solitude. In fact, crowds from all over the world flock here to enjoy its solitude.
Polish tourist brochure:
As for the tripe served you at the Hotel Monopol, you will be singing its praises to your grandchildren as you lie on your deathbed.
Swiss menu:
Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
Spanish hotel ad:
The provision of a large French widow in every room adds to visitors' comfort.
Athens hotel:
A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in appetizing forms.
On the menu:
Bowels in sauce. (Tripe!)
Chopped up cow with wire through it. (Shish-kebob)
Buttered saucepans and fried hormones - Japan
Cold shredded children and sea blubber in spicy sauce - China
Dreaded veal cutlet with potatoes in cream - China
Rainbow Trout, Fillet Streak, Popotoes, Chocolate Mouse - Hong Kong
Teppan Yaki, Before Your Cooked Right Eyes - Japan
Hong Kong Tailor Shop:
Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
Bangkok Dry Cleaners:
Drop your trousers here for best results.
Paris Dress Shop:
Dresses for street walking.
At 82 years old, my husband applied for his first passport.
He was told he'd need a birth certificate, but his birth had never been officially registered. When he explained his dilemma to the passport agent, the response was less than helpful.
"In lieu of a birth certificate," the agent said, "you can bring a notarized affidavit from the doctor who delivered you."
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
