Entertainment

A wheelbarrow of orangutans is
cheaper than a barrel of monkeys.

When I'm an old lady, I'll live with each kid,
And bring so much happiness...just as they did.
I want to pay back all the joy they've provided.
Returning each deed! Oh, they'll be so excited!
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

I'll write on the wall with reds, whites and blues,
And I'll bounce on the furniture...wearing my shoes.
I'll drink from the carton and then leave it out.
I'll stuff all the toilets and oh, how they'll shout!
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

When they're on the phone and just out of reach,
I'll get into things like sugar and bleach.
Oh, they'll snap their fingers and then shake their head,
And when that is done I'll hide under the bed.
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

When they cook dinner and call me to eat,
I'll not eat my green beans or salad or meat,
I'll gag on my okra, spill milk on the table,
And when they get angry...I'll run...if I'm able!
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

I'll sit close to the TV, through the channels I'll click,
I'll cross both eyes just to see if they stick.
I'll take off my socks and throw one away,
And play in the mud 'til the end of the day!
(When I'm an old lady and live with my kids)

And later in bed, I'll lay back and sigh,
I'll thank God in prayer and then close my eyes.
My kids will look down with a smile slowly creeping,
And say with a groan, 'She's so sweet when she's sleeping!'

~Joanne Bailey Baxter, Lorain, OH

I'm not sure which of these two videos is more fun, so I've included both. The first is a video of a woman enjoying the special effects feature on a web cam. The second video below shows what she looked like while making the video. Enjoy!

My husband and I both look very young for our ages. In fact, we've hardly aged a day since we first laid eyes on each other in college -- at least, that's what we tell each other. But our children have a way of bringing us crashing back to earth.

Recently, my husband and I were discussing a man who was running for public office.

"He's a Vietnam vet," commented my husband.

"What's that?" queried our young daughter.

Trying to answer the question in terms a four-year-old could readily grasp, my husband replied, "Well, honey, that means that the man fought in a war that happened when Mommy and Daddy were little."

Our daughter regarded us both thoughtfully for a moment and then asked, "So, was he a Viking?"