Little Johnny and his friend Billy were on their very first train ride, with Billy's mother.

A vendor came down the corridor selling a candy bar that neither had ever seen before. Billy's mom bought each one of them a bar.

Little Johnny eagerly tore open the wrapper and bit a bit off into his mouth just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across at Billy and said: "I wouldn't eat that if I were you."

"Why not?" asked Billy.

Little Johnny replied, "I took one bite and went blind for half a minute."

Auto Tuning (according to wikipedia) is "a proprietary audio processor created by Antares Audio Technologies. Auto-Tune uses a phase vocoder to correct pitch in vocal and instrumental performances. It is used to disguise off-key inaccuracies and mistakes, and has allowed singers to perform perfectly tuned vocal tracks without the need of singing in tune."

For a fun example of the above, check out this great video of an auto tuned dog.

Jim always practiced what he read.

If you are wondering what a Goober is, there is a picture of one at:
https://www.cybersalt.org/pastor-tim-s-cleanlaugh-site/what-is-a-goober

The traffic light wasn't working on the corner of Broadway and 72nd Street, so the goober stood with a large crowd of people waiting to cross, while a cop directed traffic.

Finally, the cop blew his whistle, motioned to the crowd, and shouted, "Okay, pedestrians!" The swelling throng surged across Broadway -- all except the goober, who stayed on the corner.

When the walkers were safely on the other side of the street, the cop moved the cross-traffic through the intersection.  Half a minute later, he stopped the cars on Broadway and sent the 72nd Street traffic into motion.

Again, he got around to the goober's corner, where by this time he had again been joined by a crowd of people.

Tweeeeeeeet!  "Okay, pedestrians!"

The crowd crossed the street, but again the goober stayed put.  He looked at his watch and tapped his foot as if he was in a hurry to get somewhere, but never budged from the sidewalk.

The cop ran the traffic through seven more cycles, each time blowing his whistle and then yelling "Okay, pedestrians!" The goober never moved.

Finally, after the cop yelled "Okay, pedestrians!" for the eighth time, the goober shouted across traffic, "Yo!  Officer!  Isn't it about time you let the Catholics cross?"