Entertainment
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He replies: "Why? What happened at 8:30?"
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As I was boxing it up for her, she had one last question:
"How long do I bake this?"
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Hard Disk space: the final frontier!
Hardware: The parts of a computer system that can be kicked.
hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPSLOCK KEY?
H lp! S m b d st l ll th v w ls fr m m k yb rd!
COMMAND: A suggestion made to a computer.
Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
ASCII a stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
Hold a hard drive to your ear -- listen to the C:
I am a computer, dumber than any human and smarter than an administrator.
I am logged in, therefore I am.
I are Pentium of Borg. Division is futile. You will be approximated.
I came, I saw, I deleted all your files.
I had a life once... now I have a computer and a modem.
I know I'm supposed to back up my files, but I still haven't found reverse on my PC.
I was going to switch her to DOS, but she had a gun
I'll give up my Windows 3.1 when they pry my cold, dead fingers off the mouse.
If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0
In my next life I'm going to have more memory installed
Intel - still number 0.999873464508.
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Eventually he started his own business, which immediately prospered.
He soon was a very rich man. One day, he got a call from his bank. "Mr. Schwartz," said the banker, "I need to ask you about this check. We weren't sure you had really signed it. All these years you've been signing your checks 'XX', but we just got one that was signed with three XXX's..."
Mr. Schwartz answered, "No problem, my friend. It's just that since I've become so wealthy, my wife thought I ought to have a middle name."
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2. All pipe is to be hollow throughout the entire length - do not use holes of different length than the pipe.
3. The I.D. (inside diameter) of all pipe must not exceed the O.D. (outside diameter) - otherwise the hole will be on the outside.
4. All pipe is to be supplied with nothing in the hole so that water, steam or other stuff can be put inside at a later date.
5. All pipe should be supplied without rust - this can be more readily applied at the job site. N.B. Some Vendors are now able to supply pre-rusted pipe. If available in your area, this product is recommended as it will save a lot of time on the job site.
6. All pipe over 500 ft (153m) in length should have the words "long pipe" clearly painted on each end, so the Contractor will know it is a long pipe.
7. Pipe over 2 miles (3.2 km) in length must have the words "very long pipe" painted in the middle, so the Contractor will not have to walk the entire length of the pipe to determine whether or not it is a long pipe or a very long pipe.
8. All pipe over 6" (152 mm) in diameter must have the words "large pipe" painted on it, so the Contractor will not mistake it for small pipe.
9. Flanges must be used on all pipe. Flanges must have holes for bolts quite separate from the big hole in the middle.
10. When ordering 90 degrees, 45 degrees or 30 degrees elbow, be sure to specify right hand or left hand; otherwise you will end up going the wrong way.
11. Be sure to specify to your vendor whether you want level, uphill or downhill pipe. If you use downhill pipe for going uphill, the water will flow the wrong way.
12. All couplings should have either right hand or left hand thread, but do not mix the threads - otherwise, as the coupling is being screwed on one pipe, it is unscrewed from the other.
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