Entertainment
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The Redskins are having a meeting on the eve of a game with the Bears. The coach says, "Look guys, I know the Bears are a horrible team, but we have to play them or else we get in trouble with the NFL."
Brad Johnson, the quarterback peps up, "I've got an idea why don't you guys all go down to the local restaurant, and let me play them on my own? There such a bad team it shouldn't be a problem."
"Brilliant Idea, Brad!" the coach says. "Let's do that!"
On the day of the game, the team is in the restaurant, and the coach decides to check the score. He turns on the television and the announcer says: "It's the Redskins 7 and the Bears 0 at the end of the 1st quarter."
The team cheers. At six the coach decides to check the final score.
The announcer comes on again.
"I can't believe this the Bears have scored on the last play of the fourth quarter and converted the two points to win 8 to 7."
"What went wrong?!" cries the coach.
They all leave the restaurant and jump into taxis to get back to the stadium.
They rush in to find Johnson sitting in the dressing room with his head in his hands.
"Well, Brad, what happened?" asks the coach.
Brad shakes his head. "It was all under control," he says.
"Everything was great. Then I was injured and had to come out of the game in the 2nd quarter..."
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One day, an employee received an unusually large check. She decided not to say anything about it.
The following week, her check was for less that the normal amount, and she confronted her boss. “How come,” the supervisor inquired, “you didn’t say anything when you were overpaid?”
Unperturbed, the employee replied, “Well, I can overlook one mistake but not two in a row!”
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There was a certain field near our cottage (when I was a boy) that had a huge, mammoth boulder in it. Every time my grandfather would drive past it he would tell me that he had carried it there. As a boy I was mesmerized by that. As an adult of course I figured out he hadn't. The stonghenge guy in this video clip has me open minded about it now!
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"Hello, Mr. Brown," said the sales rep. "I'm calling because our company replaced all the windows in your house with our triple-glazed weather-tight windows over a year ago, and you still haven't sent us a single payment."
Mr. Brown replied, "But you said they'd pay for THEMSELVES in 12 months."
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My mom has a lead foot, so I was not surprised when a state trooper pulled us over as we were speeding through Georgia.
Hoping to get off with a warning, Mom tried to appear shocked when the trooper walked up to the car.
"I have never been stopped like this before," she said to the officer.
"What do they usually do, ma'am," he asked, "shoot the tires out?"
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