"Here's your problem," says the doctor to the first-time father.
"This baby's in serious need of a diaper change."
Looking baffled, the man replies, "But the package says it's good for 8 to 10 pounds!"
At Andersen Air Force Base, Guam, a man in civilian clothes approached an airman and requested a vehicle pass.
The young airman, fresh out of technical training, asked to see his military ID, driver's license and his vehicle registration. Noticing the letters BG on the man's identification, the new airman asked, "What's BG stand for -- Big Guy?"
"No," the man replied, leaning over the counter. "Try Brigadier General."
*43.3% of statistics are meaningless!
*Circular Definition: see Definition, Circular.
*A.A.A.A.A. - An organization for drunks who drive.
*It said 'Insert disk #3', but only two will fit.
*Which is the non-smoking lifeboat?
* |||||||//////__ __ __ __ __The domino effect at work.
*Originality is the art of concealing your sources.
*Just fill out one simple form to win a Tax Audit!
*Democracy: Four wolves and a lamb voting on lunch.
*The buck doesn't even slow down here!
*Don't assume malice for what stupidity can explain.
*If you think talk is cheap, try hiring a lawyer.
*Oh, no! Not ANOTHER learning experience!
*The only cure for insomnia is to get more sleep.
*Advice is free: The right answer will cost plenty.
*Stupidity does not qualify as a handicap, park elsewhere!
*Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river.
*Nothing's impossible for those who don't have to do it.
*Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.
*Don't worry: the answer's at the back of the book.
*We do precision guesswork.
*My life has a superb cast, but I can't figure out the plot.
*'Oh what a tangled web we weave' - Hair Club for Men.
*A penny saved is a government oversight.
*Shin - Device for finding furniture in the dark.
*Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprove the child.
Smiling sweetly, she said, "You know, Bobby, when I was a little girl, I was told that if I made ugly faces, my face would freeze and always stay like that."
Bobby looked up into her face and replied, "Well, Ms. Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."
A goober wanted to go ice fishing. She'd seen many books on the subject, and finally, after getting all the necessary "tools" together, she made for the nearest frozen lake.
After positioning her comfy footstool, she started to make a circular cut in the ice. Suddenly, from the sky, a voice boomed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
Startled, the goober moved further down the ice, poured a thermos of cappuccino, and began to cut yet another hole. Again, from the heavens, the voice bellowed, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
The goober, now quite worried, moved way down to the opposite end of the ice, set up her stool, and tried again to cut her hole. The voice came once more.
"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"
She stopped, looked skyward, and said, "Is that you, Lord?"
The voice replied, "NO, THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE RINK!"
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
