Entertainment

A minister well known for his beautiful singing voice came home visibly upset after consulting with a new widow about funeral plans for her recently deceased husband. His wife asked him what was wrong, and he revealed that the wife had asked him to sing her husband's favorite song, "Jingle Bells," at the funeral.

He was troubled that it wasn't appropriate to the solemn occasion.

He struggled and prayed about it, and finally decided to honor the grieving widow's wishes.

At the funeral, still sensitive about how some of the mourners might react to hearing "Jingle Bells" at a funeral, he carefully introduced the song with words about appreciating the sense of humor and lightheartedness of the deceased.

The widow had been very tearful during the service. Hearing the introduction to her late husband's "favorite song" she sat up and began to appear quite interested. As the preacher began the song, the widow began to smile, and her tears dried up.

She was actually giggling as he concluded, and he felt glad he'd decided to honor her request since it obviously had been so comforting.

After the service she thanked the pastor for sharing his music ministry, and with a big grin she added, "By the way, the favorite song I requested was 'When They Ring Those Golden Bells!'"

If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over!

To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"!

If you needed a break from life, click on suspend.  Hit "any key" to continue life when ready.

To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster.

To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel.

To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings.

If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers.

When you loose your car keys, click on find.

"Help" with the chores is just a click away.

Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary.

You would use your diskette to recover from a crash.

And, we could click on "SEND NOW" and a Pizza would be on its way to YOU...

A Letter from College:

Dear Dad,

$chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you.

Love,
Your $on

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The Reply:

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Dear Son,

I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh.

Dad

An absent-minded husband thought he had conquered his problem of trying to remember his wife's birthday and their anniversary. He opened an account with a florist, provided that florist with the dates and instructions to send flowers to his wife on these dates along with an appropriate note signed, "Your loving husband."

His wife was thrilled by this new display of attention and all went well until next year, on their anniversary, when he came home, kissed his wife and said off-handedly, "Nice flowers, honey. Where'd you get them?"