Entertainment
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A guy named Joe finds himself in dire trouble. His business has gone bust and he's in serious financial trouble. He's so desperate that he decides to do something he rarely does: ask God for help. He begins to pray...
"God, please help me, I've lost my business and if I don't get some money I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto".
Lotto night comes and somebody else wins it.
Joe again prays...
"God, please let me win the lotto! I've lost my business, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."
Lotto night comes and Joe still has no luck.
Once again, he prays...
"God, why aren't you helping me?? I've lost my business, my house, and my car. My wife and children are starving. I don't often ask you for help and I have always been a good servant to you. PLEASE just let me win the lotto this one time so I can get my life back in order ... "
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Joe is confronted by the voice of God himself:
"Joe, meet me halfway on this one...Buy a ticket!"
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An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Wal-Mart.
"Wal-Mart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Wal-Mart?"
The woman replied, "Then I'll be sure my family visits me twice a week."
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"I'm an expert on Chinese food; when I eat it I only use one chopstick."
- George Burns
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A surgeon goes to return some books he borrowed from the library... The librarian quips after checking the books...
"Sir your books are always returned with the last page missing in every single book..."
The surgeon replies, "I can't stop myself from removing an appendix whenever I see one."
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