"A Freudian Slip: when you say one thing but mean a mother."
The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
Entertainment
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After a very long and boring sermon the parishioners filed out of the church saying nothing to the preacher. Towards the end of the line was a thoughtful person who always commented on the sermons. "Pastor, today your sermon reminded me of the peace and love of God."
The pastor was thrilled. "Nobody has ever said anything like that about my preaching before. Tell me why."
"Because it endured forever."
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"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
- Robert A. Heinlein
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A rare delicacy indeed is sautéed sloth.
Using the middle toe of the great Australian three-toed sloth, the only edible part of the creature, the careful chef de-bones it, pounds it as with veal, and sautés it briefly over a hot flame with shallots, carrot circles, and the faintest touch of Tabasco. Prepared in this fashion, sloth is an excellent main course, not unlike alligator in texture and taste.
Many people are under the false impression that sloth does not make a good meal, but this is because they've eaten it improperly prepared. It can only be sautéed, a fact unappreciated in culinary circles.
Too many cooks broil the sloth.
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After directory assistance gave me my boyfriend's new telephone number, I dialed him -- and got a woman.
"Is Mike there?" I asked confused.
"Umm, he's in the shower," she responded.
"Please tell him his girlfriend called," I said and hung up.
When he didn't return the call, I dialed again. This time a man answered. "This is Mike," he said.
"You're not my boyfriend!" I exclaimed.
"I know," he replied. "That's what I've been trying to tell my wife for the past half-hour."
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The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
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Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
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The Best Kept Secret Ever!
This husband and wife decided to have some fun and surprise all their friends and family with the big news of not just gender, but having twins.
An Open Letter to Moms from Kid President
This one goes out to moms! Spoken by someone who knows.
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