You Must Be A Teacher If...
~ You believe the staff room should have a Valium salt lick.
~ You want to slap the next person who says, "Must be nice to have all your holidays and summers free."
~ You can tell it's a full moon without ever looking outside.
~ You believe that unspeakable evil will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, the kids are sure mellow today."
"Everyone has feelings, except for snakes and principals."
- Donna Maria G, age 9
"Laugh and the world laughs with you, cry and the world laughs at you."
- Rob P, age 8
"If life gives you nothing but lemons, make up a better shopping list for it."
- Steven B, age 8
"Moses came down with the Ten Amendments, which were God's Bill of Wrongs."
- Susie F., age 7
"Doctors automatically know what's wrong with you. They have a sick sense."
- Beau M., age 10
Johann Strauss was an avid mountain climber who once waltzed himself into deep trouble. He lost his footing and found himself hanging by his fingertips over a bottomless gorge.
Another climber heroically came to his rescue and just managed to grab Johann by a strap of his backpack to save the Maestro's life.
Since then, the act of trying to get out of a seemingly hopeless situation has come to be known as grasping at Strauss.
I don't mean to brag, but ... I finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 20 minutes.
***Warning - this one is a real groaner!***
It was back in the old days and my friend was into this new age wisdom and spirituality and stuff. Well, one day he heard of this special guru who knew the meaning of life in the universe, so my friend drove from Blairstown to the airport in Newark and caught a plane to India.
When the plane landed in India he took a train. When the train got to the end of its track he got off and rented a jeep. He drove the jeep to the foothills of the mountains and borrowed a donkey. He rode the donkey until the donkey could go no further and then walked up the mountain to the guru's cave. He entered the cave and he told the guru that he had come to find the meaning of life in the universe.
The guru said that the meaning of life in the universe was mushrooms.
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
