I hope the bulletin in your church is more accurate than these ones!
1. Don't let worry kill you -- let the church help.
2. Thursday night - Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
3. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
4. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
I took a friend of mine who is visually impaired to church with me this morning. Several of the children in the congregation were fascinated with her Braille Bible.
One of the adults came over to see what the kids were so excited about, and Ellen told the woman, "Oh, well, I was telling them how bumpy the road to salvation is."
There were these two elderly people living in a Florida mobile home park. He was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years.
One evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. These two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered up his courage to ask her, "Will you marry me?" After about six seconds of careful consideration, she answered. "Yes, Yes, I will."
A throw-back joke to the late '90s when everyone was concerned about the year 2000 and what might happen to all the computers as one century ended and a new one began.
Boris Yeltsin, Bill Clinton and Bill Gates were invited to have dinner with God.
During dinner He told them:
"I need three important people to send my message out to all people - Tomorrow I will destroy the earth"
Yeltsin immediately called together his cabinet and told them:
"I have two very bad news items for you:
1. God really exists, and
2. Tomorrow He will destroy the earth."
Clinton called an Emergency meeting of the Senate and Congress and told them:
"I have good news and bad news:
1. The good news is: God really does exist.
2. The bad news is: tomorrow He's destroying the earth."
Bill Gates went back to Microsoft and happily announced:
"I have two fantastic announcements.
1. I am one of three most important people on earth.
2. The Year 2000 problem is solved."
Each day, enjoy a CleanLaugh here. Want the latest clean jokes e-mailed directly to you? Subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest at www.cybersaltlists.org.
We think Cybersalt's collection of Christmas jokes is the best collection on the net. Right now it features over 70 jokes.
If you've got a Christmas joke we don't yet have, please send it to us so we can add to the collection!
It's your turn to be funny. Submit your funny caption today.
Cybersalt's funny pictures collection has been years in the making and continues to grow. We are also in the process of moving images over from our old site so check back often. Don't forget to check out our funny cat pictures, funny dog pictures, funny elephant pictures, and take your turn to be funny.
Here's where we keep our funny car pictures.
Over the years, some of the most popular pages on the Cybersalt site have featured Funny Cat Pictures. We have to admit that even though cats often look at humans like they owe the feline world something (remember dogs have owners and cats have staff), cats aren't as bad as a lot of the press that they get.
And so, whether you are a cat lover or tolerator, we hope you enjoy these funny cat pictures. And, of course, if you have any funny cat pictures you want to share with the world, feel free to send them to us to post here.
Some say the world can be divided into two types - cat people and dog people. For the cat people of the planet, Cybersalt has the Funny Cat Archive. For the dog people we have this Funny Dog Pictures archive.
It's dedicated to the memory of Maggie - Pastor Tim and family's dog. The SPCA rescued Maggie from Manitoba's Red River flood in 1996 and brought her to British Columbia where she had two short term owners before becoming a part of the Davis household where she preferred adults over kids, picked and ate fruit from trees in the backyard, and very rarely went into water at the beach.
Here's our funny horse pictures collection.
We think Cybersalt's Funny Christmas Pictures Collection is the best on the net.
We hope you'll enjoy each one and share them with your online family and friends.
Merry Christmas!
When Pastor Tim finds (or puts) fun things on the net, he posts them here. If you would like to be updated when new things are added, just subscribe to the Cybersalt Digest Newsletter. Enjoy!
Our collection of puns.
Our collection of funny signs.
A great collection of clean, funny one-liners!
Chickens have grown to have a special place in Cybersalt's heart!
Archeologist: A man whose career lies in ruins.