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As a premed student at Washington University in St. Louis, I had to take a difficult class in physics. One day our professor was discussing a particularly complicated concept.
A student rudely interrupted to ask "Why do we have to learn this stuff?"
"To save lives." the professor responded quickly and continued the lecture.
A few minutes later, the same student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives?" he persisted.
"It keeps the ignoramuses out of medical school," replied the professor.
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Three wives were bemoaning their husbands' attitudes towards leftovers:
"It gets rough," one said. "My husband is a movie producer and he calls them reruns."
"You think you have it bad," was the reply. "Mine is a quality control engineer and he calls them rejects!"
"That's nothing compared to me," said the third lady. "My husband is a mortician. He calls them remains!"
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The hostess (with a daughter of marriageable age - of long duration) sent out an invitation to an officer who was supposed to be the prospective suitor of her daughter's hand.
"Mr. and Mrs. Dabney request the pleasure of Captain Black's company at dinner on the 16th of September."
She was somewhat dismayed to receive the enthusiastic reply:
"With the exception of four men on leave, and two sick, Captain Black's company accept with much pleasure your invitation to dinner on the 16th of September."
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