Inspiration

Fred was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said,

"Lord take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to church every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up drinking."

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

Fred looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one!"

"I hope that when people look at my marriage, they don't think, "She has a great marriage because she chose the right guy," or "He has a great marriage because he chose the right woman." I hope they realize, "They have a great marriage because they both chose God."

- Sheila Wray Gregoire

After an hour of "Just a little more white, two squirts of blue, a dash of black, perhaps a tad more white," the paint store clerk got my gallon to the exact shade I wanted. With a sigh of relief, he pounded the lid on.

"Now what do I do if I need more paint?" I asked.

"Don't come back here," he begged.

The two snooty women were sitting in the living room, waiting for their hostess, who was slightly delayed in another room.

The daughter of the family was with the two women, on the theory that she would keep the visitors occupied during the wait.

The child was about six years old. She was snub nosed, spotted with splotchy freckles, buck toothed, and bespectacled. She maintained a deep silence and the two ladies peered doubtfully at her.

Finally, one of the women muttered to the other, "She's not very p - r - e - t - t - y, is she?"

Whereupon the child piped up, "Maybe not, but I'm very s - m - a - r - t and I can s - p - e - l - l."