Inspiration

My wife and I were newly married and I was trying to impress her with my technical expertise.

I was trying to repair our washing machine but was unable to determine where a loose wire belonged. After working at it for several minutes, I decided to consult the experts.

I took the wire along with all the details (model, serial number, etc.) of my machine to a local repair shop. I explained my situation to the technician, who looked at the wire for several minutes. He said he thought it looked familiar, but he couldn't tell me where it belonged either.

"Nobody made a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could do only a little."

- Edmund Burke

One evening after dinner, my five-year-old son Eli noticed that his mother had gone out. In answer to his questions, I told him, "Mommy is at a Tupperware party." This explanation satisfied him for only a moment.

Puzzled, he asked, "What's a Tupperware party, Dad?"

I've always given my son honest answers, so I figured a simple explanation would be the best approach. "Well, Eli," I said, "at a Tupperware party, a bunch of ladies sit around and sell plastic bowls to each other."

Eli nodded, indicating that he understood this curious pastime.

Then he burst into laughter.

"Come on, Dad," he said. "What is it really?"

One of the best marksmen in the FBI was passing through a small town. Everywhere he saw evidence of the most amazing shooting. On trees, on walls, and on fences there were numerous bull's-eyes with the bullet hole in dead center.

The FBI man asked one of the townsmen if he could meet the person responsible for this wonderful marksmanship. The man turned out to be the village idiot.

"This is the best marksmanship I have ever seen," said the FBI man. "How in the world do you do it?"

"Nothing to it," said the idiot. "I shoot first and draw the circles afterward."