I wanted to write a post looking back on 2012, but it’s tricky because… what to focus on? Although I very sweetly thought that Kindness would be my word for the year, I never implemented any kind of follow-up to check in throughout the year, and so as I re-read that post I still love it, but I can’t say I lived it. I am struck by the similarities between that post and this more recent reflection on Joy - that over and over again God reminds me he has to be the source for me to do good things with my life.
Looking back on the year I feel very much that I have been journeying with God and that he has been generous to me far beyond what my stumbling, inconsistent efforts deserve. A year ago tonight I decided to take a break from my church, and over the course of this year I never would have guessed how things turned out. This post is a great reminder of God’s faithfulness and the safety of his love for us even (especially) when we feel really lost.
It’s fun skimming through old posts because the things I remember most from this year are events, not lessons. Every once in a while a post jumps out at me as if I were flipping through old class notes, and it baffles me that I’ve learned so many things that I just don’t remember. I remember starting 2012 with a really healthy cleansing diet and learning that:
- You have to eat a lot of meat and vegetables to make up for cutting out carbs (I lost some weight because this one caught me off guard).
- I feel so much better when I eat well.
Almost a year later, I can more or less remember the rules for the different phases of this diet off the top of my head, but re-reading this post on prayer was as fresh for me as if someone else had written it. Why, oh my brain, do you insist on retaining such less useful information? Sigh.
In the midst of all the learning I did this year (the easy way and the hard way), 2012 had some great milestones! In May, Matt and I threw a party to celebrate paying off the line-of-credit portion of our student debt, which was a huge weight off our backs. We both still owe the government money, but having one less payment has been a gift that keeps on giving – any time we get discouraged we can look back and say at least the line of credit is gone 
For the record, we paid for the party with what would have been one month’s payment, which was a fun way to set the budget when we planned it all out. May also marked 1000 days of marriage AND was the month we made a baby. It’s funny looking back on my bump pictures because all along the way I have felt sooo pregnant and big, but in hindsight I really haven’t been. I’m curious how my perspective will be different with any subsequent pregnancies, how I perceive my weight gain and the passage of time (this pregnancy has been passing really steadily, not flying by, but definitely not dragging either).
Obviously being pregnant has been a huge focus for me the last several months, but lots else has been going on that doesn’t make it onto the blog and kind of rounds out our life. I’ve been doing lots of crochet lately, learned some new songs on keyboard, and even made my way back to the church I left at the beginning of the year. Whether you are a new or old reader, thanks for taking the time to read my words, to leave comments or send emails, and most of all of journeying alongside me 
All the best in 2013!