Monthly Archive

New Slogans for Federal Agencies The National Institute on Aging ..."Celebrating our 39th Year!" The Department of the Interior ..."Oddly, All Our Stuff is Outdoors!" The Internal Revenue Service .... read more..

Twas the month after New Year's, and all through the houseNothing would fit me, not even a blouse.The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd tasteAt the holiday parties had gone to my waist.When I got on... read more..

A man in Phoenix calls his son in New York the day before Christmas and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enoug... read more..

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration.  The re-election of Presid... read more..

Just got this in from a reliable source.  It seems that there is a virus out there called the Senile Virus that even the most advanced programs from Norton cannot take care of, so be warned.  Symptoms... read more..

A guy was telling his friend that he and his wife had had a serious argument the night before. "But it ended," he said, "when she came crawling to me on her hands and knees." "What did she say?" ask... read more..

Dear PearlyGates Subscribers, Well, imagine my surprise at the end of the day, just when I went to send out another day’s posts, that I had a bunch of e-mails concerned about a word in one of my mail... read more..

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire long after hypothermia has set in. Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare a... read more..

I had twelve bottles of whisky in my cellar, and was told by my wife to empty the contents of each bottle down the sink or else. So I said I would, and proceeded with the unpleasant task. I withdrew ... read more..

The buffet sneeze-guard was cramping Whisker's style. ... read more..

FiFi had a love of plumbing, not a fear of water. ... read more..

This wasn't exactly what Nick bargained for when he agreed to change the tiger cage. ... read more..

It may have just been the diet, but Shadow was having a hard time not thinking about food. ... read more..

That was the day when Buttons stopped sleeping in the window where everyone could see him. ... read more..

Music calms the savage beast. Pastor Tim's sermons? - a slightly different effect. ... read more..

 "As for me, I will behold Thy face in righteousness: I shall be satisfied, when I awake, with Thy likeness. Psalm 17:15     Through the years artists have tried to portr read more..

"I am crucified with Christ nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me and the life  Which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave read more..

Nobody ever figured out how the dog learned to turn the hose on. ... read more..

Mr. Boots still could not believe he lost his bet with the dog. ... read more..

It was easiest to brush Lucy's teeth when she was listening to one of Pastor Tim's sermons online. ... read more..

Even Pastor Frank's fish could not escape constant scrutiny. ... read more..

Lex was dissapointed about once again being passed over for the role of baby Jesus in the church Christmas pagaent. ... read more..

Jay needed help thumbing his nose at the dogs passing by. ... read more..

Mitzy soon regretted meeting Ray from the chat room. ... read more..

So much for winning the congeniality award at the cat show. ... read more..

Bob Barker's new disguise was working perfectly. ... read more..

Prosthetics for injured pets are getting carried away. ... read more..

Rover needed a better agent. ... read more..

Daddy, look at the cute kittens! ... read more..

Who let the dogs out? Who, who who who? ... read more..