October 2005 - Monthly Archive

10 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2908

Happy Birthday Call

A couple phoned a neighbor to extend birthday greetings. They dialed the number and then sang "Happy Birthday" to him. But when they finished their off-key rendition, they discovered that they had di... read more..

09 Oct

Wonders of Creation

3024

Wonders of Creation - Cells

The usual school textbook diagram of a human cell and pictures of the Earth from space share something in common ? both make an object of incredible complexity appear simple. Zoom in on either, and a ... read more..

09 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4591

The Gift

A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for her birthday. A friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those pretty 4-Wheel drive vehicles." "She did," he replied, "But where in th... read more..

Thanksgiving: The Antidote to Pernicious Creeping Materialism

08 Oct

Dr. Harold McNabb

3813

Thanksgiving: The Antidote to Pernicious Creeping Materialism

One of them, when he saw he was healed, came back, praising God in a loud voice. He threw himself at Jesus? feet and thanked him?and he was a Samaritan. Jesus asked, ?Were not all ten cleansed? Where ... read more..

08 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3641

Camping Hints

When using a public campground, a tuba placed on your picnic table will keep the campsites on either side vacant. Get even with a bear who raided your food bag by kicking his favorite stump apart and... read more..

08 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

6585

Class Reunions

Every ten years, as summertime nears,An announcement arrives in the mail,A reunion is planned; it'll be really grand;Make plans to attend without fail.I'll never forget the first time we met;We tried ... read more..

07 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3841

That's the Way . . .

Start with a cage containing five apes. In the cage, hang a banana on a string and put stairs under it. Before long, an ape will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he ... read more..

07 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2946

Brick Order

A man goes into his local building supply store and orders 10,000 bricks."May I ask what you're building?" asks the man behind the counter."It's going to be a barbecue.""Wow, that's a lot of bricks fo... read more..

06 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4286

Vet's Guarantee

There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself through veterinary school working nights as a taxidermist. Upon graduation, he decided he could combine his two vocations to better serve the n... read more..

06 Oct

Rev. Spence Laycock

3628

The Crossing

Some of the most profound and familiar images in the Bible have to do with water. Noah and the flood of the whole earth, Moses and opening up of the Red Sea, Jesus walking on the water of the Sea of G... read more..

06 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3014

Charity Answer

Father O'Shea, the parish priest in the village, was giving a sermon about charity. He said, "The trouble with the world today is that some people have too much and others have too little. We must giv... read more..

05 Oct

Wonders of Creation

3013

Wonders of Creation - Ear Coning?

Have you ever heard of ?Ear coning?? Here is how it works: you lie down on your side and stick a cone-shaped candle in your ear. Light the candle and, according to the promoters of this crazy idea, th... read more..

05 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4458

Johnny's Prayer

Johnny had been misbehaving and was sent to his room. After a while he emerged and informed his mother that he had thought it over and then said a prayer. "Fine", said the pleased mother. ... read more..

05 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2727

Argument Settled

The other day, Avril and I got into some petty argument. (I say it was petty. She would have said it was Armageddon.) As is our nature, neither of us would admit the possibility that we might be in e... read more..

04 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3931

Halloween Pun

Bob Hill and his new wife, Betty, were vacationing in Europe -- as it happens, in Transylvania. They were driving a rental car along a rather deserted highway. It was late, and raining very hard. Bob ... read more..

03 Oct

Dr. Harold McNabb

3704

Who's Farm Is It?

The late Bishop Edwin Hughes once delivered a rousing sermon on "God's Ownership" that put a rich parishioner's nose out-of-joint. The wealthy man took the Bishop off for lunch, and then walked him th... read more..

03 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4163

Dear Abby, Dear Reader

Dear Abby, I have a man I never could trust. He cheats so much on me I'm not even sure this baby I'm carrying is his. Dear Abby, I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill f... read more..

03 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3525

Nature Abhors A Simile

There was something funny about the kidnapping crime scene that Special Agent Frievald couldn't quite place, and the thought stuck with him throughout the rest of the day, like those tiny little bits ... read more..

02 Oct

The Spur

Marcia Lee Laycock

3218

A Resurrection Parade

The rider-less horse prances, restless in the midst of the crowds and the noise. It leads a long procession through thousands of people who are watching, thousands who are weeping. If you are old enou... read more..

02 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3639

Goobers In Ditch

Two Goobers were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, "Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?" "I don't know," r... read more..

02 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

3843

Klopman Diamond

A businessman boarded a plane to find, sitting next to him, an elegant woman wearing the largest, most stunning diamond ring he had ever seen. He asked her about it."This is the Klopman diamond," she... read more..

Trusting In Mercy - For Those Who Knock and For Those Who Answer

01 Oct

Rev. Spence Laycock

3420

Trusting In Mercy - For Those Who Knock and For Those Who Answer

Can you think of the last time when someone was merciful to you? This will be different than another person showing you a random act of kindness, for we often mistake grace for mercy. When someone has... read more..

01 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

4910

When I Was Your Age

A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home. ... read more..

01 Oct

Clean Jokes

Pastor Tim

2742

Worthy Cause

As a traffic safety consultant, I often gave talks on accident prevention. One night after I spoke to a PTA group, the program chairperson thanked me profusely and gave me a check for fifty dollars."G... read more..